like playing piano well
this love, practicing
every day
*
show me, said the leaf
another way to see
the fall
*
trying to find
an oracle when it’s really
just a broken glass
*
cranes in the field!
or just geese—bidding the heart
to swell equally for both
Ooo, I like these!
Best from Betsy
in conversation yesterday noonish, a local transplanted writer looked up from my copy of The Less I Hold and commented, “She got ‘it,'” meaning the gift of stretching and playing with language. each of these are additional examples of what she was talking about. (the leaf asking for another way to see the _fall_—are we talking autumn, or another type(/other types) of “fall?”
on a pesky editing note, though, I’d change the final word in the fourth haiku to, “each.” “Both” implies a more inclusive, less distinguishing connection that what i think you’re wanting; also, “each” provides an alliteration: “swell Equally for Each,” and I think it gives that whisper more of separation between cranes and “just geese.”
Each! You are so right! Hugs r
The first two are my charms, thought about and caressed in the brain, ever expanding. And it’s not I don’t like the other two but I keep returning to those.