While I sit fully stopped
at the white line
my thoughts rev and race
around the next four corners
and before my foot
even pressures the accelerator,
those thoughts are already walking
with a little lilt and a whistle
right through your front door.
Your feet here take on a bit of personality, whistling and such, which is why they merge with your thoughts so well from the 3rd line. Lines 5 & 7, the singular “foot” and the plural “they” caught me up a bit, but I see the conundrum. Your feet can’t press the accelerator, and your foot can’t be walking without the other. No wonder they started whistling.
great point hmmm need to figure that one out r
From: “comment-reply@wordpress.com” Reply-To: Date: Friday, January 30, 2015 at 7:46 PM To: Rosemerry Trommer Subject: [A Hundred Falling Veils] Comment: “Didn¹t Even Bother to Turn Off the Ignition”
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Thoughts are plural and foot is singular….. it all fits beautifully, as far as I can see. I like your imaginative use of thoughts. Good poem.
That was it, Carol I will go ahead and take out the pronoun and insert THESE THOUGHTS and then that should get rid of the confusion.
Thanks for the comment! r
From: “comment-reply@wordpress.com” Reply-To: Date: Sunday, February 1, 2015 at 12:57 PM To: Rosemerry Trommer Subject: [A Hundred Falling Veils] Comment: “Didn¹t Even Bother to Turn Off the Ignition”
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huh. i see the thoughts be separate from the foot/feet. but then, if the mind wanders, doesn’t it, then, have feet with which to do so? i do like how the revving racing mind is also whistling and lilting a little. just four more corners, and thing will have turned for the better. (gotta git there now.)