Stillness, I say I want you.
Pond with no wrinkle. Hanging
leaf with no breeze. Mind with
no wheel of thought.
I say please teach me and then
rail against you. Squirm and reach
and whirl. In the quiet field,
I make of myself a wind.
In the silent blue room, I sing.
I climb the balcony with a tambourine
instead of sitting in the garden below.
Stillness, how I rub against you.
The heat builds the longer I sit.
I am sand paper against you. I am
bell. I am red. I am mint. Stillness,
the teachers say you are here
beneath the veils of do and must.
I listen and think I know what they mean.
I turn you into a thought. Stillness,
you leak through this carrying on.
Stillness, I wrestle myself till I sweat.
I shout your name, Stillness, as if
you were deaf. Stillness,
where are you? And where are you not?
The dawn and the night move with you.
I keep bumping against, what?
Oh Stillness, I’m laughing. There you
were in the question, but I went on
with my wondering, my want.