I bet you would never guess
how nervous I was to call you.
I bet you’d be surprised
to know the size of the gap
I imagined between us—
whole oceans could be swallowed
in there. You with your easy laugh.
You with all your friends. Surely
you have all those friends in part
because you are friendly.
But I was scared. Scared
I was not enough—
not smart enough, not cool
enough, not funny enough,
not strong enough, not self
sufficient enough to be your friend.
Oh that insecure part of me,
I know it does no good to judge her.
So I look at the insecure me,
and I look at the me
who would judge her,
and I get to look at the me
who can love her
and all of us get in the car together
and drive to your house
to drink coffee and talk
and do what friends do—
jump in the gap
and swim.