meeting shame in a back alley
I decide to rename it
good teacher
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged compassion, renaming, shame on December 11, 2020| 1 Comment »
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged compassion, goldfinch, heart, heartache, poem, poetry, thorns on May 15, 2019| Leave a Comment »
goldfinch stealing
into the thorn bush—
oh heart, bless you
for being willing, please
don’t follow him in
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged blizzard, bomb cyclone, compassion, forgiveness, poem, poetry, snow, weather on January 7, 2018| 12 Comments »
Across the country, blizzards—blizzards
so big that folks speak of bombogenesis
while standing in line in the coffee shop.
And the snow begins to fall, snow
blocks out the sun, snow fills the roads,
the drives, the sills until people begin to forget
who they are when there isn’t a storm.
Imagine the storm goes on.
Imagine that it isn’t snow falling,
but forgiveness. Imagine all those people
rising morning after morning to find
themselves buried in compassion.
Piles of it. Heaps of it. Giant white drifts of it.
It must be dealt with before anything else
can happen. Before people can even
walk out the door, they must lift it
and move it and feel its surprising weight.
Who knew there was so much of it? Who knew
just how completely it could shut things down
if not engaged with properly? It takes some time,
perhaps, before the people see
how beautiful it is, how every single thing
it touches is softened, turned to sparkle,
turned to shine. A disruption, to be sure,
but sometimes it takes a blizzard
to find the calm. Sometimes
we must be stopped
before we learn how to go on.
And the colder it gets, the more
we must work to be warm.
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged compassion, driving, poem, poetry, road rage on August 30, 2017| 7 Comments »
You idiot, is what you say
to the driver five cars ahead of you
on the two-lane road that winds
through the river canyon.
There is no passing lane,
and you feel the crushing
of the minutes as they rub against each other
while the white SUV five cars ahead
does not pull over
in the wide spot on the road
where all conscientious slow drivers know
to pull over to let the other drivers pass.
Idiot, you grumble, and miss
any beauty outside the window,
focused as you are on the speedometer,
the brake. Once it was you,
a girl of fifteen, who drove so cautiously
the windy roads to church
on a Sunday morning, that first day
with your driver’s permit.
And who was it in the long line
behind you who called the police
to report a drunk driver?
When they pulled you over,
the two squad cars with their blaring lights,
you didn’t cry when the officers laughed—
there was warmth in their relief
to find that you were not drunk but young.
No, you cried after they walked away,
cried all the way to mass.
Bless them, the irate ones,
the ones who fume in the back,
the ones who think furious thoughts.
That’s right. Bless yourself,
you, the livid one, can you find
a way to love her, this hurler of names,
this one who disdains the others going
the same way she is going? Laugh
at her if you can, a real laugh.
Tell her you get it, it’s frustrating.
Tell her we are all traveling the same winding road
toward grace.
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged compassion, hummingbird, poem, poetry on June 25, 2016| 3 Comments »
I pour the hot water
into the sugar that waits
inside the mason jar.
Here I am in the kitchen
longing to be
of use in the world.
Outside the window,
the broad tailed hummingbirds
swarm the near-empty feeder.
They will find, I know,
some other sweetness
if I do not make the nectar.
I long to believe
one small act of devotion
might ripple out
and affect the world
as profoundly as an act
of hate, but I do not believe it.
Still, I stir. The contents
of the jar change
from solid to cloudy to clear.
Outside, the blur
of hunger, the whirring
of dark green wings.
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged compassion, news, poem, poetry on June 15, 2016| 3 Comments »
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged compassion, poem, poetry, relationship, unlearning on February 16, 2016| 2 Comments »
Tonight I will give you yourself.
All those pretty words you spun
into negligee, all those promises
you strung like pearls and then
tightened around my neck, all
those lovely leashes you made
out of praise, I give them back.
I have always loved being naked.
I think this is what you loved
most about me, too. Once. No one
is at fault for this strange game
of dress up we’ve been playing.
Perhaps it is what we were taught to do.
I unlearn this game. I want to give
you you. I give you your
own nakedness. Any robes
of hope I put on you, I untie
them. See them slip into soft piles
on the floor. Look at you now.
I see I never saw you before.
Out the window, winter is melting.
Everything loses its sheen.
I tried to hate you for the ways
you bound me, though the bounds
were beautiful. Now, all I can feel
is the thrill of this body so bare,
so new. I stare at my feet, my hands
and marvel at how they move.
Is this me? I never knew her.
I know her so intimately.
It is almost sweet now, so innocent,
how we tried to dress each other in dreams.
We didn’t know then that even
the softest words become chains.
I give you yourself, your longing
to be loved in the ways you thought
you needed. I give me myself,
I don’t know what that means,
already I am shedding.
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged compassion, garden, killing, mole, owl, poem, poetry on October 18, 2015| 6 Comments »
This is the year I learned to hate the moles,
the whole blind-tunneling, garden-raiding,
carrot-devouring, pea-sprout-munching,
rapidly reproducing, miserable movement of moles.
Not for a lifetime, but for an hour or two,
I would like to be an owl so I might
swoop down on their company in the dark
with my enormous silent wings and my sharp
and merciless beak. I would pluck their bodies
from the rows of beans with relentless precision
and I’d pull them apart, the young ones, too,
no, not for the joy of the massacre,
but because that is what I am born to do.
How free it must be to kill with no conscience,
to take their furry, soft-skinned lives
without tripping on compassion.
How much easier not to muse
about how a rodent’s got to eat something, too,
and why wouldn’t she want an organic carrot,
all crunchy and sweet, or a pea sprout or one hundred,
so tender, so green.
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged compassion, poem, poetry, tears on April 28, 2015| 1 Comment »
here, I’m thirsty
said my cheek
to your tear