for Joan on her 68th birthday
I wish you the peace
that comes when we trust ourselves
to meet whatever life brings.
I wish you love beyond
happy endings—
the kind of love
that seeps into everything
no matter where the story goes.
Today, I planted cosmos
in the garden. Inevitably,
they will grow into cosmos.
This is what I wish for you—
the delight of growing
inevitably into yourself.
The thrill of knowing
your beauty makes a difference
in the world—
how, in the garden of my heart,
you are ever blooming,
like a surprise larkspur
brought in as a seed,
and now that it’s here,
it will never leave.
Posts Tagged ‘friendship’
More than Happiness
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged birthday, friendship on May 26, 2023| 15 Comments »
Aloe
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged friendship, plant, succulent on May 13, 2023| 7 Comments »
for Brooke McNamara
She met me with a succulent,
a giant aloe tucked under one arm,
its long thick leaves standing tall.
How could I not think, then,
of how we are all succulents, really,
learning to evolve in times of drought.
We have learned how not to die
in times of neglect.
Discovered beyond doubt
we are survivors.
I cradled her face then,
the woman with the aloe,
grateful for whatever sweet intuition
suggested she carry an aloe
across highways, through town,
grateful she knew how to honor
what is most determined in us
to thrive, how to honor
the ways in which we carry
the medicine we most need.
I held her, then,
as if our lives depended on it,
as if touch were as essential
to growth as water.
As if, with gratefulness,
I could be sunshine for her
the way she was soil for me.
Surprise Gift
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged connection, friendship on May 2, 2023| 3 Comments »
In a crowded room
on a mid-spring night
there was a moment
when, sweet providence,
we found ourselves
alone and able to weep
and hold each other
as if there weren’t
conversations all around us,
as if it hadn’t been years
since we’d last fallen
into each other’s arms,
as if it were the most normal
and natural thing
to hug too long,
to weep because,
to forget the rest of the world
and know, in that moment,
what a gift it is
to trust.
One Late-Night Conversation
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged conversation, friendship, time on April 26, 2023| 2 Comments »
as if we had eternity
we spend it together
this hour
From Six Hours Away
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged connection, friendship, silence on March 30, 2023| 2 Comments »
for Joan Shearer
From six hours away,
she holds my hand.
Tonight when my ship
has no anchor, she meets
me in the waves and
floats with me there.
Not because I told her
I needed her. It’s more
that her soul is ever ready
to bob in the swells.
We drift. We say nothing,
but I don’t feel alone.
We’re alive in the silence
that weaves through all sound,
connected by the invisible
currents that govern whatever
is real. What is real: letting
another person feel what they feel.
And being there with them,
saying “I love being with you like this,”
sharing the fullness so present
even from six hours away.
Bonding After My Son’s Death
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged chemistry, friendship, grief on March 23, 2023| 2 Comments »
for Summer and Autumn
Tonight, while buying bread,
I saw my son’s beloved friends—
and as I held them in my arms
and thrilled at the connection,
I imagined how my friendship
with them is a kind of covalent bond—
we join just as atoms are held
together through shared electrons.
My sweet son is the electron.
To anyone else watching,
it might have looked like a hug,
but I know with all my matter,
this energy (I call it love)
this is how the world was made.
When the Man I Don’t Yet Know Writes to Say He is Holding Me in the Light
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged connection, friendship, light on March 7, 2023| 10 Comments »
for R.S.
I feel it. I feel in my fingers
something of starlight.
I feel in my breath something
like dawn. I feel in my inner caverns
something akin to the radiance
of glow worms. As if just knowing
that someone is holding me in light
has made the moment brighter.
It occurs to me I can do this, too,
and I begin to imagine others
gathered by sunset, carried
by candlelight, infused
with the soft warmth
of a low campfire.
I picture the light
as it spreads across the world,
as it seeks out hearts
and lives I will never know.
What must it look like from space
as it spreads, as it grows,
as it blooms through this darkness
where we all live together.
On the Day I Start to Freak Out about AI
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged Artificial intelligence, friendship, humanness on March 1, 2023| 10 Comments »
I focus on the gentle words of my friend,
how I hear her smile come through her voice,
even if my eyes are closed. I focus
on how soft it is, the scarf I am swathed in,
how it warms my bare neck.
I think to myself,
I will remember this moment,
standing in this movie theater lobby,
where the scent of popcorn triggers my hunger.
I will remember feeling unsettled, thinking wow,
that was the moment I understood
how irrevocably the world had changed.
And when, later, we walk outside,
I fall in love with the snowflakes
that hit our face the way no pixel ever could—
and how, when my friend hugs me goodbye,
I fold into her body, tender and strong,
and I inhale the scent that is uniquely hers,
feel it flood my memories.
And later, when I cry, because every day I cry,
I feel so damn grateful to grieve, to hope,
to love beyond what any algorithm could predict,
my heart breaking every rule-based parameter,
yes, thank you for this stubborn and unruly heart
thudding like a storm inside my human chest
as I move through the storm, the wind cold on my cheeks.
Ineffable
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged flower, friendship, love, texting on February 24, 2023| 4 Comments »
—for Kayleen
I couldn’t name
the brilliant red flower
in full bloom,
couldn’t smell it
nor touch it,
but when my friend
sent me an image
of soft ruby petals
all dewy and open
there was no way
I couldn’t believe
in beauty—
and though I couldn’t
hear her velvety voice,
that made her message
no less true—
loving you—
so sitting in a room
alone
in the midst of miles
of snow and cold
I felt so sweetly tethered
to a world beyond
the world I know—
and long after
her message arrived
I continue to believe
in something wonderful
and sweet,
something true
I can’t quite touch,
I continue to believe
in what words
try to point to,
words like beauty,
like friendship, like love.
To Those Who Are Comforting a Woman Who Lost a Child Today
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged advice, child, friendship, grief, loss, mother on February 18, 2023| 17 Comments »
There is nothing you can fix.
The only thing to do is love her.
Tomorrow, next week,
there might be laundry.
Or mail. Or a meal.
Or a phone call
when she will need for you
to be near her
when she tells the other person
her child is dead.
Hold her hand, or,
if she needs space,
don’t hold it.
Say her name.
Say the name of her child.
Walk with her, or sit still.
Pray for her when you’re not with her,
even if she doesn’t pray,
even if you don’t know how,
even if the words
feel like foreign objects in your mouth.
Light a candle.
Give her your heart.
it’s the only thing that matters,
though it will not ease her
nor help her sleep
nor solve a damn thing.
Though there is no hope
you can make things right.
Though she may push you away.
Though anything you do
will be woefully insufficient, love her.
With your whole being, love her.
It will not be enough.
It is the only thing.
Tell her, if you can, you love her.
But if you can’t,
just love her.
Just love her.