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Archive for October, 2019

Ruth Dreams Me Safe

 

 

 

She’s in a thrift store in her dream,

and though her daughter

suggests it’s too big,

Ruth buys me a men’s suit coat,

something to keep me warm.

Later she tells me the real reason

she bought it: she knows

I need the arms around me.

Into one of the pockets,

she slips a check for $100,

then asks her daughter

to give it to me.

 

I find the coat in a message

Ruth sends me on Facebook,

where the pixels warm me

more than any wool, more

than any fleece, any down.

How easy it is to be generous,

sharing our dreams, our thoughts,

our hope. All night I stick my hands

in the coat pockets. They are deep,

warm, full of surprises.

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One Orienteering

 

 

 

in love’s hands

the compass needle

spins around the rose

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On the last day of the world, I would want to plant a tree.

            —W. S. Merwin

 

 

On the last day of the world, I would want

to feed you. Raspberries. Thin slices of apple.

Peaches so ripe they drip down our chins,

down our necks. I would want to sit with you

beneath a tree, no we’ll climb a tree, no

we’ll plant a tree, yes all of these. On the last

day of the world, I want to give myself permission

to feel exactly what I feel, to be exactly who I am,

to shed every layer of should and meet you

that way. Knowing we have only hours left,

could we put down our arguments with ourselves

and each other and find no energy to pick them up again?

On that day, I want us to write the last poem

together and let the writing undo us, let it teach us

how to get out of the way, how to obey what emerges.

Let’s run outside, no matter the weather, and praise

the light till the light is gone, and then praise the dark.

 

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Hi friends, I was off camping in the desert for a few days, then travelled to the glorious little town of Salida for a reading, and finally back home … here are a few small poems from the last few days … 

 

 

hell’s backbone grill—

the mouth begins to thrill

from two-hundred ten miles away

 

*

 

in the slot canyon—

knowing myself as water

moving through these walls

 

*

 

wind storm in the desert—

even my thoughts

fill with sand

 

*

 

this revolving door—

certainty, uncertainty, certainty

uncertainty

 

*

 

she sweeps the leaves

from the walk—

red carpet in reverse

 

*

 

waking in a blizzard

while in my ears, my scalp

still red sand

 

 

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One Scent Memory

 

 

 

scent of roasting pumpkins—

all day they carve

my thoughts

 

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Before you were born,

your hand had more muscles,

for instance the dorsometacarpales,

a reptilian remnant, an atavistic relic

from when all blood was cold blooded.

By the time you were thirteen weeks

in utero, a third of the muscles

in your hands and feet had fused

with other muscles. Your body

simply deleted them, proof

that before we are born,

before we are ready

to inhabit our forms,

we are in some ways

made less complex.

I think of this now as I open my hand

for your hand, think

of how much things change.

How once we had fins, then claws.

And now, look at us,

with hands that might caress,

might soothe, might reach.

God, this impulse to be warm.

And I think of how sometimes,

growth means to become more simple.

This is my prayer. To do

what the nascent body can do:

to remember where I came from,

to streamline, to know what is needed,

to know what to let go.

https://earthsky.org/human-world/Evolutionary-remnants-muscles-human-embryos

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You have to be able to imagine lives that aren’t yours.

            —Wendell Berry

 

 

And so today I’m the cottonwood

in the yard, the one we planted twenty years ago,

the one my son used to climb,

the one that we hang bird feeders from, and pinatas,

the one that even now is losing its leaves,

and I imagine standing there year after year,

fall after fall, now after endless now.

What is now for a tree? How different

is now from infinity? I imagine being

my own soaring cathedral, my roots

always thirsting, my wood growing

to seal my wounds, my branches

always chasing the light.

 

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Two Loaves

IMG_4898

 

 

Oh, this alchemy of wheat,

salt, water, yeast and heat.

Something so holy about the art

 

of transforming grain into loaves,

how the scent of the baking infuses

the whole house with earthy incense.

 

I whisper poems into the bread,

sing to it as it rises, as it rests.

I think of every other woman,

 

every other man who, for over 14,500 years,

has kneaded and shaped the living dough.

I imagine all of us, flour on our cheeks,

 

pressing our hands into service,

all of us certain of one thing:

we are called to feed each other.

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I said to my daughter, This time

let’s go without the map.

Never before did it occur to me

it might be more fun to be lost.

There were paths through tall dry stalks,

yes, but perhaps they were more—

an intimate landscape inviting me

again and again to lose myself now,

to lose myself now. It is harder to do

that it seems. The rustle of dry leaves,

the scent of earth, the blue sky overhead

like true north. But lost, I kept finding,

and found, I kept losing, and all

the while I kept laughing, oh, the joy

of putting one foot in front of the other,

the joy in not knowing which way

the path might turn next.

 

 

 

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One Unbaptized

 

 

filled with golden leaves,

the pond, and shimmering with sky

and me, too dry, too dry

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