Posts Tagged ‘self-sabotage’

“Sometimes it is what is beautiful that carries you,” said Weasel weakly from his bed. “Yes, it can carry you to the end. It is your relationship to what is beautiful, not the beautiful thing itself, that carries you,” said Grizzly Bear.

—Barry Lopez, Crow and Weasel


And so, after years of wanting to be river

and calendula, cottonwood and aspen,

larkspur and evergreen, at last the poet

longs to be herself—longs not to be

what is many petalled nor golden leafed,

not to be what merges with ocean,

what thrives in cold. Rather, she longs

to be the one who might uncover beauty

in the garbage dump, find splendor in the mess.

It is no small thing to want to be yourself.

Look, there she sits in the prison of her thoughts.

See her smile as the bars begin to bend,

watch her marvel as what she thought was a cage

becomes wings.

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I say I want to fly

then fill my shoes

with sand

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You’ve found me out.
Inside my closet
on the top shelf
pushed behind
the scarves and old
prescriptions and
forgotten purses
is a plastic grocery bag
filled with orange feathers
that I have worn once—
it is not that I have said
Never again,
it is only that I
have some dream
of a day not at all
like today when
it feels so totally
right to perch
at the edge of my door
all feathered and
bright, not caring
if I lose a few feathers,
not concerned
at all if mid-song I fly
or fall.

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