Posts Tagged ‘calendar’


Dear Other Version of Myself,


In my calendar, it’s April second

and you are going to an event tonight

at a bookstore in another town

where the people will gather

and hug each other and taste

each other’s wine. You live in a world

that no longer exists, and every day

I try to reconcile it—how you

had plans to go camping next weekend,

how you were going to go to the theater

with no mask, no gloves,

no sense of your body as a weapon.


Every day, your life, which once was my life,

seems increasingly impossible.

Every day, these two worlds are farther apart—

the one in which you were getting on a plane

to visit your mother

and the one in which I put on rubber gloves

to go to the post office box.

I remember how seldom you washed

your hands for fear that someone you love

would die. I remember what it was like

to hug my friends with no worry

of harming them, to go to a restaurant,

to plan for a day past tomorrow.









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Saying yes to too many things at once

is like eating dark chocolate truffles one

after another after another. The first


is infused with wild raspberry, which leads

to a caramel truffle with fleur de sel, which leads

to two smooth champagne truffles, which leads


to a tummy ache, bittersweet. My calendar

has a tummy ache. Its numbered squares

are filled in with rows of rich invitations…


a book club infused with Louise Erdrich

and Sauvignon Blanc, a meditation retreat

handcrafted with extra silence, a trail run


through aspen groves filled with silky light.

How could I pass on any of these delights?

Saying yes to too many things at once


is like crossing a remote border at midnight,

and though your pulse races with the thrill,

you have no idea if you will ever know


what home means again. Saying yes

to too many things at once is in fact

a disguise for saying no. No to openness,


no to spontaneity, no to whatever surprise

might have found its way into the vacant

possibility of that deliciously empty square.

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