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Posts Tagged ‘self-defeating behavior’


 
 
Sometimes, certain she has botched it all, 
certain she has made of the gift of her life 
a desert, something desolate and harsh, 
when surely she was meant to create 
something lush and verdant, something fecund, 
fertile and teeming with wonder, in that moment 
of self-inflicted despair, fueled by comparison, 
a woman might stand in the midst of that desert 
and hold in her hands her own tender heart, 
hold it the way she might hold any spiky thing—
lightly, as if it might float—and marvel at the wisdom
of prickly things, how each spine provides a small 
measure of shade in a place with no other shelter,
how together those spines reflect the sun to protect
what is inside from burning, how even the prickliest 
things are encoded to flower when given more light, 
when offered the barest encouragement of rain.

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these scars on my arm?
I used to walk my hell with me
everywhere on a leash
and let it bite me sometimes
just to be sure it still hurt

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