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Archive for April, 2022




I remind myself I have chosen this—
this lethargy, these aches, these chills,
I remind myself I paid
for this sore arm,
I paid for this chance to shiver.
I wanted the broken down parts
of the virus to enter my body,
wanted special molecules to make
my immune system stronger.
Oh Shingrix, you have done
what my husband, my mother
and my doctors cannot—
you have put me in bed before nine o’clock.
You are like a school marm
with gray hair pulled back tight
and a ruler in your hand
to smack my antibodies to attention.
When I do not get a painful, red blistered rash,
I will likely forget to thank you,
just as I forget to be grateful
when there is not a plague
of grasshoppers in the field,
forget to be grateful when I make dinner
without slicing off my fingertip,
forget to be grateful for the tire
that didn’t fall off of my car.
So I’m thanking you now,
now while I feel it, now when I’m aware
that a half milliliter of prevention
is worth seven pounds of rash free skin.
Thank you for stimulating my T cells.
Thank you for days when I will smooth
my hands across my thighs, my hips,
when I will trail my fingers across my ribs,
for nights when I will slip into soft cotton sheets
and never once think of you.

*

hey friends, I will be camping in the desert the next couple of nights, so no poems for a few days, then I will return with a small desert bouquet

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No Regret




Some moments are flame.
There was a time
I wanted a promise
we would not burn.
Now I give myself to the blaze
knowing the burn
is part of the path,
knowing that matter
dances best
once it’s ash.

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The Inconceivable

Nothing can separate us from love.
There is no way to know this
without paying a cost so great
some part of us longs to bargain
with the universe and trade back
the priceless truth. But part of us—
the part that cannot be named,
the part that wakes at dawn,
the part that sings in the darkness,
the part that wades in the infinite—
it’s not so much that this part says yes,
more that it simply expands with the truth,
much as the universe itself expands
due to a dark, mysterious energy.
Any scientist will tell you,
empty space is not nothing.
We who grieve learn
to hold that empty space
and know it as love.
I know, it’s inconceivable.
We feel how it holds us, too.


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Long after our eyes adjusted
to the small, round beams of light
that shined on thick white columns
and reflected the rings of drips into shallow pools,
after we’d become accustomed
to the resonant dim,
at last we found a place to sit
and turned off our lights
and listened to the dark.
The only sound, the astonished heart,
persistent breath, and the drip,
drip, drip of stalactites doing their patient work.
How I longed to bring us all
into the cave where we are forced to forget
any differences the light might suggest.
How I loved the way my senses stretched out
to feel the other beating hearts.
Imagine we could do this every night—
could feel the other hearts in the dark,
all of them beating like our own.
Imagine no storms could touch us.
Imagine we forgot it could ever be any other way—
your heart, my heart, beating wild,
listening for each other.

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She remembers how at the orchard
the wind would sometimes
rip the ripening fruit from the trees.
Not because it was cruel.
It was wind doing what wind does.
And life does what life does.
It takes. It gives. It takes. It gives.
Not because life is cruel or generous,
but because it is life.
Look how the word why forms on her lips—
look how saying the word
requires a small pucker like a kiss.
She doesn’t seem to expect an answer.
Perhaps she is practicing
how to lean into the silence that always follows
when she asks the unanswerable.
Perhaps she is practicing how to kiss the unknown.
If she could have stopped the wind from blowing,
she would have. If she could have stopped
her son from dying, her father from dying,
her friend from dying, she would have.
Instead, she is learning this:
no matter how much she does,
no matter how good, how quick,
how noble, how loving, how well-intentioned,
life will do what life does.
And still the invitation
to bring to every moment her best,
which is to say whatever
the moment asks of her.
See her hair blow in the wind.
The only thing she can do
is choose to notice the place within
that remains still no matter
how hard the wind blows.
Perhaps she will learn how this stillness, too,
is life doing what life does.

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Harmony




Surrounded by steep cliffs
and great open sky,
we stand on the point
and sing—not for money,
not for fame, not even
for the crow that hovers
above us on the wind—
we sing for joy, sing because
in that moment when
eight of us sing there is
one voice among us, one mind,
one invitation to move alone together
through the door of the moment
and know that as much as we
are entirely ourselves,
we are one, oh my god,
we are one.

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for Merce & Bert & Heartbeat


It is true that anger, that betrayal,
that loss, but it is also true
that one day you might follow
a map to a high desert clearing
where there is a home
that runs on sunshine and rainwater,
and the floors are the color
of autumn leaves, and the beds are warm
and soft, and generous strangers
feed you thick soup and dark greens,
warm bread and good wine,
and as the clouds all around you lift,
you find yourself surrounded by song
and the love of good women and
the ripeness of years and you know yourself
as yet another soft animal—
like a rabbit or a fawn—a being
blessed to exist without claw,
without fang, a being blessed
for now to label this tenderness life.

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Eight Months Later




Sometimes when I’m buying glue
at the hardware store or looking at books
in the library, someone will come and,
with so much love, invite me to dive with them
into the eddies of articulate grief. Or sometimes,
also with love, they’ll say something neutral, like,
“Nice weather,” and I’ll nod, though meanwhile
we wade in thick currents of all that goes unspoken.  
Every day, I leave for a time the world of language.
I walk in the woods or along the red cliffs
where the only conversationalists
are the creek and the squirrel, the crow
and the magpie, the sharp scent of spruce,
and the burgeoning leaves.
I let myself speak only in listening.
The grief listens with me. Hours go by.
Words find us soon enough.

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A Gentle Grief




Thin clouds smear against clear sky
like questions in white chalk being erased

or like streaks of tears
just before they have evaporated.

On this sun-glorious morning,
steeped in blue, I am crying.

Is it strange grief does not bother me?

The river is higher again today
as the snow from high peaks starts to melt.

I stare at the spot on the bank
where we used to stand and throw rocks,

squealing with pleasure
as the water splashed and formed rings.

The kingfisher clicks as he follows the shoreline,
his beak a needle stitching this moment

to the past. I, too, am melting,
melting into this generous morning,

forgetting who I am, then remembering again,
everything blurs, oh this beautiful dissolution,

the tears almost cool, the sun so warm.

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Parallel




And there my son was, standing with me
in a giant warehouse, trying on new shirts.
Both of us knew he had died,
and both of us knew we were now in a parallel reality
in which he had made a different choice.
I could still remember that other life,
that one in which I lost him,
so I wanted to ask him
if he remembered what it felt like to die.
Ask later, I thought. Give him space, give him time.
But he said, as he held up a blue t-shirt,
This time I am going to take things easier.
This time, I’m not going to stress so much
about grades and stuff.
Then he shrugged, and smiled, content in his tall body.

I knew it was a dream, and so, as the dawn light
entered my awareness, I willed myself
to stay in this place where he was with me,
this place where he was at peace.
I woke eventually, of course,
because that is what the living do.
But a week later, I still feel it,
how I live one foot in the world
where he is not here,
one foot in the world
where everything is possible,
even togetherness,
even peace.

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On a wooden plank
only eight inches wide
I stood thirty feet
above the ocean
and stared at the waves below,
stared at the horizon,
stared at my fear of heights,
stared until I felt such deep peace
standing on this slender choice.
All it would have taken
was one step.
One step, and gravity
would have done the rest
to plunge me into the ocean
in the name of fun.
The whole time I stood there,
I thought of you,
how you would have
leapt from that plank
with no hesitation.
I loved this about you—
your abandon,
your joy in launching
into something new.
Gravity, they say,
is the weakest force we know.
Though it can hold galaxies together,
it’s weak enough
to overcome it every day.
Weak though it is,
I’d like to say
I overcame it.
That I stood at the edge
and chose, instead of falling,
to hold things up—
chose to hold up
the memory of you falling,
chose to hold up
my own tired heart,
chose to stand
in a difficult place
and notice how beautiful it was,
the golden light on the water,
the wind on my skin,
chose to walk a narrow path
that felt kind to myself,
though in my head
the voice kept saying
jump, jump, jump.

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Hi friends–

I’m back! My husband and daughter and I spent two-weeks in Belize–half in the rainforest and half at the beach–and it was so healing. I know that for some, travel really excites the muse. For me, I tend to be much more prolific at home. Still, every day I wrote one (or more) very short postcard-like poems (i call them haikulings because they look haiku-ish) … and here they are for you. Plus, below that, you’ll find write ups and links for an online reading I will do on Tuesday (poems about the earth for earth day with a Q & R to follow) and an online thoughtshop I will do on Wednesday (other people’s poems about falling in love with the broken world, along with lots of prompts for your own writing.) And now we are officially back to posting daily poems. Hugs to you all–
Rosemerry

Bouquet from Belize


sky as my witness—
while swimming in the jungle river
a white egret lands inside me

*

bright trill of cicada
and creaking of frogs—
even self-doubt shuts up to listen

*

spinning from a strand
of old spider silk—
one dead leaf dances

*

after the downpour
every path in the garden
strewn with petals

*

orange blossoms in my hair—
perfume of goodness to come,
goodness that already is

*

floating through the limestone cave—
practicing again how to meet the world
head first

*

table set for three—
at dinner I face
where your eyes are not

*

in the vast rainforest
somehow it finds my naked leg
the tiniest silver tick

*

climbing the steps
of the ancient Mayan temple—
this awe brief as a lifetime

*

heaven
earth
this day a ladder

*

I wake to hear my daughter
laughing in a dream—
I replay that music till dawn

*

one-note whine of the zipline—
the ohm
of adventure

*

steady pink beacon—
pressing my heart
to the sunrise

*

peddling in beauty
this night
with sand in its toes

*

at the Mayan temple—
this family photo
without you in it

*

two-week vacation—
less like a comma, more
like an open-ended em-dash

*

because you are not here
I find you everywhere—
feather, sky, river, white bunny, my own hand

*

he says, do nah stand
unda da coconut tree
everywhere I look, coconut trees

*

in turquoise waters near golden sand
I learn again
the only paradise is within

*

grinding the cocoa nibs
into dark paste—
come, love, smell my fingers

*

rocking in the great arms
of the ocean—
wanting to hold the world this way


April 19, 6 p.m. mountain time
Earth Words, poetry performance/Q&R for Crested Butte Library
The earth itself is an altar to breakdown, decay,
collapse, demise. And from these infinite violences,
we rise, like trees, we rise.

               —Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer, “On Earth Day”
In honor of National Poetry Month and Earth Day, Rosemerry will read from her own poems in an exploration of outer landscapes and how they inform our inner landscapes (who we are and how we connect with the world and each other). Free. For more information, contact Taylor Worsham, taylor@gunnisoncountylibraries.org . No need to pre-register. Meeting info below:

Please join my meeting from your computer, tablet or smartphone. 
https://meet.goto.com/302136501

You can also dial in using your phone.
United States (Toll Free): 1 866 899 4679
United States: +1 (571) 317-3116

Access Code: 302-136-501 

Get the app now and be ready when your first meeting starts: https://meet.goto.com/install

*

April 20, 6 p.m. mountain time
Poetry Thoughtshop: Falling in Love with the Broken World
$12 (but ask SHYFT if you need a scholarship)

How you see the world—the way you meet even the smallest moment—affects everyone and everything in the world around you. The stories you tell yourself and others create the big conversation—what are we doing here? What does it mean to be alive? And practically speaking, how do we change our perspective? Join poet, storyteller and performer Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer for a playful, intimate evening of poetry that invites you to fall more deeply in love with yourself, with others, with the moment and the world. 

In this 40-minute poetry thoughtshop, poet Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer will share poems from a variety of authors about brokenness, self-compassion, generosity and kindness. She’ll also offer a host of writing prompts to help you write your own poems that explore how you might choose to love the broken world, whether you pick up your pen or not. 

This event is hosted by SHYFT at Mile High whose mission is to provide all people, regardless of ability to pay, with classes and programs proven to reduce stress, heal trauma, and create connection. To register: click here

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Hi poetry friends, 

After I declared the break in sending out poems, I discovered that the poem performed at Carnegie Hall a couple weeks ago will be performed again, and this time live-streamed. So I figured I’d better break my computer fast to let you know! It will be sung by a different choir, sung in a different locale–and it is still the same glorious arrangement by Jeffrey Nytch, still directed by the amazing Elizabeth Swanson. And that is TOMORROW, Sunday, April 10. Free (or pay as you can). Sooooo … I thought I’d let you know, plus two other upcoming events that happen shortly after I am back to daily posting … so a little save the date action!!! 

I will have a big bouquet of poems for you soon. 

With joy, 
Rosemerry

April 10, 7:30 p.m. mountain time
Performance of “Our Birthright”

Rosemerry’s poem “Our Birthright” composed by Jeffrey Nytch, will be sung by the CU University Choir, directed by Elizabeth Swanson. Concert is pay as you can, and can be streamed live on Zoom, https://cupresents.org/performance/1626363332/student-ensemble/cu-choirs/

*

April 19, 6 p.m. mountain time
Earth Words, poetry performance/Q&R for Crested Butte Library
The earth itself is an altar to breakdown, decay,
collapse, demise. And from these infinite violences,
we rise, like trees, we rise.

               —Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer, “On Earth Day”
In honor of National Poetry Month and Earth Day, Rosemerry will read from her own poems in an exploration of outer landscapes and how they inform our inner landscapes (who we are and how we connect with the world and each other). Free. For more information, contact Taylor Worsham, taylor@gunnisoncountylibraries.org . No need to pre-register. Meeting info below:

Please join my meeting from your computer, tablet or smartphone. 
https://meet.goto.com/302136501

You can also dial in using your phone.
United States (Toll Free): 1 866 899 4679
United States: +1 (571) 317-3116

Access Code: 302-136-501 

Get the app now and be ready when your first meeting starts: https://meet.goto.com/install

*

April 20, 6 p.m. mountain time
SAVE THE DATE: REGISTRATION LINK TO COME
Poetry Thoughtshop: Falling in Love with the Broken World
$12 (but ask SHYFT if you need a scholarship)

“The more stuff you love, the happier you will be.” 
—Ross Gay, The Book of Delights


How you see the world—the way you meet even the smallest moment—affects everyone and everything in the world around you. The stories you tell yourself and others create the big conversation—what are we doing here? What does it mean to be alive? And practically speaking, how do we change our perspective? Join poet, storyteller and performer Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer for a playful, intimate evening of poetry that invites you to fall more deeply in love with yourself, with others, with the moment and the world. 

In this 40-minute poetry thoughtshop, poet Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer will share poems from a variety of authors about brokenness, self-compassion, generosity and kindness. She’ll also offer a host of writing prompts to help you write your own poems that explore how you might choose to love the broken world, whether you pick up your pen or not. 

This event is hosted by SHYFT at Mile High whose mission is to provide all people, regardless of ability to pay, with classes and programs proven to reduce stress, heal trauma, and create connection. SAVE THE DATE: REGISTRATION LINK TO COME


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Hi Friends, 

I hope you are having a wonderful spring. I am going to do a bit of a computer fast for the next two weeks. I will write poems, but I won’t send them until around April 17 … and then you’ll get a big bouquet of poems! Thank you for being my partners in this poetry practice. I will be back with you soon, 
Rosemerry

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I had thought I was already naked.
I had thought I had shed
the mask, the robe, the dress,
the flimsy garments that tease.
I thought I had nothing left
to remove. Then came
slipping out of my laugh.
Taking off my smile.
Dropping my role, my hope.
Losing what I thought I knew.
I could never have said yes to this.
It is happening anyway.
I am less myself, only more.
There is a shawl of compassion, though—
its threads made of sunrise gold.
This. Whoever does the undressing
wraps me now in this.

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Contact Joy




He cleans the base of the skis
with a fine, steel brush to remove
the old wax, his body swaying
above the ski, tip to tail, tip to tail,
so the micro hairs on the base
will lay down in the direction of travel
on snow. A fine copper brush
cleans it more. His movements
are quick, precise, a dance
that now comes naturally.
The only music is the sound
of the brushes, the sound
of his breath. There is no
laughter, no joking,
not even a smile, but
sometimes on winter nights
I walk toward the light
in the garage and watch
his body intent on its work,
and I feel the quiet joy
he finds in preparation
and the work of foundation,
and his joy seeps into me,
soft as the darkness
that holds the garage,
deep as the space
that holds us all.

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