beside the koi pond
trying to breathe underwater—
if only, if only
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged cancer, denial, diagnosis, poem, poetry on August 10, 2019| 3 Comments »
beside the koi pond
trying to breathe underwater—
if only, if only
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged allowing, apricots, denial, loss, poem, poetry, what is on June 20, 2012| 6 Comments »
Perhaps
I thought
by leaning
into loss,
it would become
more comfortable.
But it is like
overripe apricots.
There is no
managing,
no pretending,
no way
to make
it anything
but what
it is.
They are overripe.
Nothing
to be done
about a gift
like that
except to walk
the rows
and gather
the sunwarmed
flesh, bruised
and soft,
and eat it until
you can’t
eat another
sweet bite,
then gather
the fruit
to freeze
until the freezer
will hold no more
and then
when the orchard
floor is still
mottled with
fruit on the edge
of moldering,
know there
is really
nothing
to be done,
and though
it is uncomfortable
stop naming
this experience
loss and
start leaning
into what is,
the only
place
we can
rest.