I would never have wished
for those years when I starved myself,
years when any number on the scale
was a reason to hate my own body.
I would never have wished to be in the room
with the man who didn’t listen
when I said no. I would never
have believed I was capable of weaving lies
that could cause so much hurt,
would never have wanted to break
so completely I walked through the world
like a ghost. And yet I have never been
more grateful for the breaking, the grieving,
the struggling, the loss. I didn’t know how resilient
I was until I was shattered. I didn’t know
how failure would teach me trust. Didn’t know
how pain would open me to feel more compassion,
to fall more in love with the world.
It would be a lie to say I am grateful for pain.
But I am grateful for this heart
that contains grief and joy,
grateful for this body that expresses
fear and courage, anger and hope.
Grateful to know myself not only as self
but also as whatever is holding me,
as great space holds the day—
how much bigger the world is now.
I would never wish heartbreak on you,
but if it comes, when it comes,
I wish you the gift of holding the heartbreak,
the miracle of opening
beyond what we ever dreamt was possible,
I wish you gratitude for life,
no matter how impossible it is
to say thank you.
Posts Tagged ‘wish’
Strange Wish
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged gratitude, heartbreak, wish on March 7, 2021| 3 Comments »
When the Interviewer Asked Me What I Most Wish for the World
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged hope, light, wish on December 8, 2020| 2 Comments »
“We have a lot of things we are in the midst of. What do you think this moment is inviting us to understand? Where would you like to be in spring? Where would you like to see us as a world be?”
—Kara Johnstad, Voice Rising Host, Om Times Radio
For a sliver
of a moment
I cradled
the whole world
in my thoughts—
every president,
peasant, seamstress,
beggar, businessman,
acrobat, child—
every one of us
a vessel
and I knew
in that instant
the power
of a wish—
as if hope
has a foothold
in reality,
as if a slim glimmer
is inevitable
foreshadowing
of unstoppable radiance.
With quiet clarity
I knew exactly
what I wish
for each of us—
I told her, too—
but I will refrain
from telling you.
Instead, I’ll hand you
the question
so you, too,
might make a wish,
so that you, too,
might glimmer,
might beacon.
Wish
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged love, warmth, wish on January 23, 2020| 2 Comments »
Perhaps because I am cold
I want to bring you warmth—
isn’t that how it goes?
We wish for each other
what we most want for ourselves.
And so I wish you real love,
the kind that is as familiar
as brushing your teeth, as spectacular
as the sky tonight drenching the world
in pink just before
the dark took everything.
Canyoneering
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged canyoneering, parenting, poem, poetry, wish on July 11, 2016| 2 Comments »
If I had known to wish for this,
I would have—this day with its heat
and the way we found
the canyon, so narrow
and sculpted and smooth
with its creek so cold and shallow
and its falls not too tall to climb,
and my children
somehow quickly untamed
and willing to wade
and scale and explore.
Some days are like this,
no want to cajole or nudge,
no need to pretend things
are better than they are,
just laughter and shine
and feral wonder
and joy so wholly present
it’s only later I think to wish
it could last forever.
One Undoing
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged nothing, poem, poetry, wish on February 3, 2016| 2 Comments »
What Vivian Didn’t Say
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged parenting, poem, poetry, star, surrender, wish on October 31, 2013| 1 Comment »
While driving west
through the dark
toward home, she looks
out the window and says,
Hey, Mom, a wishing star,
and I fight the urge
to correct her and say,
It’s a planet. Instead,
I tell her, Tonight
there are unlimited
wishes. She is silent
for a long, long time,
and at last she says,
There, now that’s a good one.
Meantime, I find myself wishing
for the days when Vivian
took great delight in whispering
to me her wishes.
One Wednesday, I Went a-Walking
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged children's poem, poem, poetry, W-week, wish, wonder on March 6, 2013| 2 Comments »
in honor of W-week at Mountain Sprouts Preschool
One Wednesday, I went a-walking
to make a wish on a star,
but because it was day
no stars lit my way.
so I wished on whatever I saw.
I wished on the wimpling wing
of a black bird perched on a wire.
I wished on a worm
and a wheel that turned
and a window that gaped ajar.
I wished on a white-seeded weed
that whirled on the whistling wind.
I wished on the woods
growing near where I stood
and I wished on a willow’s bend.
And I had so much fun a-walking
and looking for places to wish
that I went and forgot
the wish that I’d thought
was the most importantest.
Instead I found hundreds of wonders—
the water, the weather … Wa-hoo!
I remember! My wish
was to find happiness,
and wow, my wish came true.
In Silence Haiku
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged haiku, poem, poetry, star, wish on April 23, 2012| 2 Comments »
wishing
different wishes on
the same star