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Posts Tagged ‘rash’




I remind myself I have chosen this—
this lethargy, these aches, these chills,
I remind myself I paid
for this sore arm,
I paid for this chance to shiver.
I wanted the broken down parts
of the virus to enter my body,
wanted special molecules to make
my immune system stronger.
Oh Shingrix, you have done
what my husband, my mother
and my doctors cannot—
you have put me in bed before nine o’clock.
You are like a school marm
with gray hair pulled back tight
and a ruler in your hand
to smack my antibodies to attention.
When I do not get a painful, red blistered rash,
I will likely forget to thank you,
just as I forget to be grateful
when there is not a plague
of grasshoppers in the field,
forget to be grateful when I make dinner
without slicing off my fingertip,
forget to be grateful for the tire
that didn’t fall off of my car.
So I’m thanking you now,
now while I feel it, now when I’m aware
that a half milliliter of prevention
is worth seven pounds of rash free skin.
Thank you for stimulating my T cells.
Thank you for days when I will smooth
my hands across my thighs, my hips,
when I will trail my fingers across my ribs,
for nights when I will slip into soft cotton sheets
and never once think of you.

*

hey friends, I will be camping in the desert the next couple of nights, so no poems for a few days, then I will return with a small desert bouquet

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Embodied




Oh grief, you are not like a rash—
something irritating from which
I will eventually recover.
Something that affects just the surface.
I am coming to know you as I know
my own skin—many layered. Resilient.
Something I don’t think of as separate.

Everything that touches me,
is informed by you—
whatever is sharp, soft, rough, tender.
Through you I sense it all.
Is it strange I once thought
I needed to protect myself from you?
Now you are me, integral as bone,
fundamental as blood, natural as joy.
To know you is to know myself—
to know what it is to be alive.
Once we were strangers.
Now I can’t live without you.

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Doctors, said the professor

to the room of fresh pre-meds,

know this:

Eighty percent of the people

you treat will get better

even if you do nothing.

Ten percent will heal because

of what you do. And ten percent

will get worse because of what you do.

Let’s begin.

Tonight, as my daughter’s skin

blooms increasingly red—

a rash staining her trunk,

her face, her limbs—I consider

what the professor said.

She is long past the age

where I can heal things

with a kiss. Still, I kiss her,

knowing this to be the best medicine

eighty percent of the time.

I give her a dose of jokes,

and prescribe another chapter

of The Silver Chair. We read

as the red grows angrier.

She laughs when I tell her

at least she didn’t break her arm

or lose all of her hair.

I hate how helpless I feel.

Though I did not enter

the rooms of dissection

nor memorize tomes

of bones and diseases and cures,

I still have the longing

to heal, to remove the pain, to nurse.

If she is afraid, she does not show it.

I disguise my fear. I give her

another kiss. It won’t, at least,

make anything worse.

*with thanks to Dr. John Belka for the story that opens this poem.

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Amen

Today God is perhaps like a rash
that terribly blooms
on your leg. Red blisters
on a raised red patch.
For nearly two weeks,
it is all you can think about.
What to eat for dinner and
it itches. The children need
milk and it itches. The sky!
it’s so pink at dawn and
it itches. It is your best friend’s
birthday and it itches. Israel
conducts an airstrike into Syria
and it itches. This is how
I have wanted God to show up—
hand in hand with everything.
I have wanted to not forget,
to not be distracted by the events
of the world, to find God
in the every fold of the day.
God in the tea cup. God in
the stop sign. God in the empty
dish. God in the brush.
This is not what I had in mind,
this pain, this incessant urge
to shred my own skin, to scratch
what cannot be touched.
But it’s working. All eclipsed.
God in everything.
In the incessant tug of it,
the red, deep pain of it,
the calling to bow to it
now and now and now.

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