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Archive for August, 2020

Between

with thanks to Rebecca Mullen for showing me the doors

And if a door closes

before another opens,

well, sometimes in the hall

between those doors

I find the precarious beauty

that can only be met

when I am not quite safe,

not quite certain, not quite

a self, and yet wholly here.

I’m talking deep field beauty—

a liminal beauty that refuses

to be named.

This is what it’s like

to learn to trust—

to live with one arm forward,

one arm back and feel

marvelously stretched,

the heart perilously opened,

like a sunrise, like a wing.

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TUESDAY CLASSES ARE FULL–THIS IS A SECOND SECTION OFFERED ON WEDNESDAYS!

“Listen, are you breathing just a little, and calling it a life?”

—Mary Oliver

Perhaps your heart and mind would like a little nudge toward opening? Perhaps you’d enjoy conversations that help us deeply connect with others and the world around us? Join poet Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer for this five-week poetry discussion series using Risking Everything: 110 Poems of Love and Revelation. Featuring contemporary American poets and international masters, the collection edited by Roger Housden helps us “relinquish our grip on ideas and opinions that confine us, and instead, risk moving forward into the life that is truly ours.” No previous poetry experience or affinity necessary. WEDNESDAYS, September 9-October 7. 3-5 p.m. MDT. $140. Book included.

This event is hosted by SHYFT at Mile High whose mission is to provide all people, regardless of ability to pay, with classes and programs proven to reduce stress, heal trauma, and create connection.

*

TO REGISTER, VISIT HERE:

 

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One Golden Moment

walking toward the rainbow—

shocked to arrive

in my own life

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“Listen, are you breathing just a little, and calling it a life?”

—Mary Oliver

Perhaps your heart and mind would like a little nudge toward opening? Perhaps you’d enjoy conversations that help us deeply connect with others and the world around us? Join poet Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer for this five-week poetry discussion series using Risking Everything: 110 Poems of Love and Revelation. Featuring contemporary American poets and international masters, the collection edited by Roger Housden helps us “relinquish our grip on ideas and opinions that confine us, and instead, risk moving forward into the life that is truly ours.” No previous poetry experience or affinity necessary. Tuesdays, September 8-October 6. 3-5 p.m. MDT. $140. Book included.

This event is hosted bySHYFT at Mile High whose mission is to provide all people, regardless of ability to pay, with classes and programs proven to reduce stress, heal trauma, and create connection.

*

REGISTRATION LINKRegister in advance for this meeting:
https://us02web.zoom.us/meeting/register/tZwvc–hrT8uEt1Q2oxW-AIvz5d5t-XGhUN9 

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You Belong Here

            for SRB

You belong here—

here in the world

of wonder and fear,

of Zumba and street fights,

of pink hats and protests.

You belong here

with your questions,

your anger, your trust,

your voluptuous cursive,

your stubborn tears,

you belong here.

With your fine darkness,

your involuntary shine,

your shuttered faith

and your reckless love,

your uncertainty,

you belong here—

in the alleys, the rooms,

in the meadows, the halls,

in the sacred cathedral

of your body.

Whether or not

you asked to be here,

whether or not

you feel wanted here

here is where you belong.

It is for you the moment arrives,

wondering what comes next.

It is for you the next breath

finds your body and fills you,

it’s for you, this day, you

right here where you belong.

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One Silencing

unsure what to say—

letting the blank page

write on me

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Today It Occurs to Me

Not all journeys require leaving the house.

  Just this morning, I followed the hummingbird

    as it circled the feeder, then flew to the flowerbed

      and slipped its long beak into red nasturtiums.

And last night I wandered the garden rows,

  pulling long carrots and thick round beets,

    attending to the slow journey of ripening.

And all summer I follow the thin trail of loss,

  how it leads me from one sorrow to another

    my heart breaking open and then more open

      then impossibly more open.

And all this sheltered summer, I navigate moments of beauty—

  when I laugh at dinner until I fall off my chair,

    mornings when the river runs startlingly clear,

      the blue of larkspur, double rainbow over the drive,

        the tender silence inside the shouting—

          follow these moments like cairns in the wilderness,

            that lead always to exactly where I am.

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running and running

but the finish line keeps moving

until at last

the wise voice asks

are you sure this is a race?

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Progress

Perhaps I am more like the earthworm

  than I thought—

    one part of me anchored in place

      while the rest of me moves forward.

    Every time I go, I also stay.

  Every time I reach ahead, part of me holds on.

Over and over, I pull myself along.

  What looks like progress is slow.

    No path except the one I make

      by letting the world move through me.

    In order to proceed, I make of myself a wave.

  In order to proceed, I must let go.

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Who is this woman so concerned with arrivals?

Doesn’t she know we are writing about paths?

What is her rush to get to the meadow?

What does she think she will find there?

She missed the sunflowers in the garden,

a whole row of luscious bright yellow bloom.

She missed the chatter of the chipmunk,

the hot scent of rabbit brush almost like sage,

the mica glistening like crushed starlight beneath her feet.

She is like one of those trucks on the highway,

a blur, a roar, an impersonal thundering.

Oh, see, now that she thinks she’s arrived somewhere,

now she starts noticing the field,

the crunch of dry grass, the dirt, her own short shadow.

Funny, she looks lost, standing there with her pen and paper,

her longing to find something worthwhile to say.

Should we tell her it’s okay,

that the lack of arrival could be her new point A?

And everywhere she looks, a new path.

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Oblivious

Don’t tell the woman

walking on the dirt road

that there’s a large bear

six feet to her right

in the dense spruce woods—

at the rate she’s walking

she’ll be past it soon,

and what she doesn’t know

isn’t hurting her for now.

What good comes

from knowing all the dangers

life may not have in store?  

See, she’s past the bear now.

She’s talking to the squirrel

who chatters wildly above her.

And, looking across the road

at the light glinting off the river,

she’s smiling, not even knowing

just how many reasons

she has to smile.  

*By the way, friends, I DO think it’s important to be prepared, even if (especially if?) you’re oblivious. I carry bear spray with me on my walks, and I really was six feet from the bear, yikes. But we stared at each other and it was disinterested in me, whew. And I hightailed it outta there.

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throwing my insecurity

into the bullring,

dressing it in red

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I didn’t really mean at 3 a.m.

with a the blood curdling scream

of a female mountain lion

caterwauling in the woods,

the violence of branches snapping and breaking

and giant beings crashing in the dark.

Why should I be surprised

that the sound of desire—

a powerful female shrieking for union—

should sound like the worst kind of pain?

The high pitch of yearning,

the strangled wail of want,

it haunts me all day, all day.

All day, primal need screeches in my blood.

I am wildly awake.

All day, no one else can hear.

*

To hear this amazing sound, visit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxo8X5uIWRE

(Note: If you have cats, put on your headphones or they will FREAK!!)

*

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The Empty Dark

Answers don’t arrive if you’re afraid of sitting in the empty dark room of not knowing by yourself long enough for them to arrive on their own schedule. 

—Michael Thelen

Oh let me, too, be willing to sit in the empty dark

and let the darkness enter me.

Let me not pretend to know how it will be.

Let me lose my plans, though it terrifies me.

Let me not imagine any better time

to practice than now.

Let me be the bowl that sings when touched,

the bowl that is content with its own stillness.

If I want answers, let me sit with my longing.

If I want lessons, let me find them right here.

And if it is dark, let me not run from the dark,

but lean into it. And if it is light,

let me long for the light. Let it enter me.

Let me not pretend to know how it will be.

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One Survival

devouring the crumb trail

from beauty to beauty—

no going back

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Fleeting



There is no need for temples … Our own brain, our own heart is our temple.
—H.H. the 14th Dalai Lama


Today the temple went to the post office.
Of course it wore its mask. There,
it met several other temples, also masked,
some of them in a hurry as temples sometimes are.
The temples joked with each other
about haircuts and lost keys and ripped old shirts.
All day—while working on the computer,
while making macaroni and cheese,
while taking out the cat litter and feeding the fish—
the temple managed to forget its own temple-ness
and the temple-ness of others
until finally, while weeding milk thistle in the garden,
a bell did not ring and a clarity came—
a brief brush with infinity that lasted a millionth of a second,
and there between the beets and the sunflowers,
was a moment when the temple was temple.
How quickly a thought comes in. Even now the temple
wrestles with its own metaphor, tries to discern its mystery
by disassembling itself into piles of knowable parts—
bricks of meaning, tiles of purpose—that, huh,
somehow, when dissected, don’t resemble a temple at all.

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Perhaps when I’ve lived long enough

that time and I have become good friends,

I will no longer curse at semi-trucks

going sloooow on the two-lane highway.

No, I will simply drive fourteen miles under the speed limit

and happily harmonize with the oversexed songs on pop radio

and notice how beautiful the swirls in the red rock cliffs.

I will not imagine fitting consequences

for drivers who pass in no-passing zones.

I will simply say thoughtful little prayers for them

to protect them on their way

as they blithely jeopardize the lives

of every other human on the road.  

And I’ll be so grateful for construction delays—

how they give me time to sit and reflect

about how happy I am to no longer be

the kind of woman who gets upset about traffic

and all the small-hearted dim wits

who don’t pull over when twelve cars are following them—

yes, it will be so nice to sit there beside the orange cones

with a smile on my face,

not ashamed at all that I used to be so bothered by it,

oh, remember that chapter?

I’ll be so amused I ever thought it was a problem

to creep an inch an minute for an hour and a half—

how lovely the slowness, the pace of patience,

my hands on the wheel, my foot humming above the brake.

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From the Cottonwood

I want to hear the song in the old cottonwood tree

outside my window, the tired xylem, the weary phloem,

the rough hymn of the ancient bark. I want to know

how, despite fatigue, it continues to flourish,

to push new cells through the tips of the twigs,

how it thickens despite long drought.

I want to hear the dark lullaby of the worms

as they move through the loyal roots—

what do they know of persistence?

And the dappld shadow that continues to grow,

what might it teach me of love?

Let me be the student of the limbs

that broke off in the wind. Let me listen

and listen again. There is too much

I think I know. I’ve been singing the same

familiar songs so long I began to believe

they were gospel. Oh, how I’ve loved the psalms of green.

Let me sing them while they last. And then, may I learn

to love the song of emptiness, song of surrender,

song of whatever comes next.

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One Very Quiet

morning sun inclines

my heart toward forgiveness—

still the phone does not ring

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I had imagined we’d see dozens of meteors

   streaming across the sky, streaking,

      flaming, impossibly bright.

         Instead, I lay on the driveway

between my son and daughter

   and we stared into the night,

      laughing and singing and listening

         to the sound of the earth turning,

the pavement hard beneath us—

   and above us, the whole

      starry firmament unfolding.

         Not one shooting star did we see, no, but oh,

how the milky way swirled all around us,

   our eyes wide open, my heart soaring, swarming,

      a small piece of matter burning up,

         glowing, impossibly bright,

never quite touching the earth.

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