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Posts Tagged ‘self awareness’

 

 

 

She watched herself on stage,

and though she wept for the sad parts,

she didn’t wish them away—

they made the story better.

She easily laughed every time she forgot her lines.

And several times, though the play wasn’t done,

she gave herself an ovation.

Why not, she thought. I’m doing

a damn good job up there.

I wonder what took me so long

to see I got the lead. I can’t wait to see

where this play is going.

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strange, the light disappearing

stranger still to realize

we are the ones in the way

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If you could come back, I say, as anyone else

in the world—say you just stepped out of time

for a moment and then came back in—would

you come back as yourself or as someone else?

 

We are driving in the dark, but I know from experience

that we have just crossed the Dallas Divide

and there are mountains just south of us, and

Leopard Creek to our left, already slightly swollen with spring.

 

Well, she says, after some consideration, could

I change parts of myself? And I say, No.

You get to come back exactly as yourself.

The car in the oncoming lane forgets to lower its brights.

 

Then I would come back as myself, she says,

and I feel a flood of fragrant joy in her answer,

a perfume that fills the car with the heady

scent of self-awareness. I think of the infinite

 

choices and events that conspired to make her

exactly this girl who in this exact moment

chooses to be exactly herself. Except, she says.

I wish I could be better organized.

 

All around us, the world unbraids itself,

melting and charged with mud and change.

All around us, a fine and untamable chaos.

Inside us, the exact person to meet it.

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