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Archive for June, 2017

 

 

 

Guilt finds the seeds and buries them in April,

hiding them darkly so no one will see.

He waters them secretly.

The sun does what the sun will do.

The seeds sprout and he thins them,

unwilling to pluck them all,

unwitting that the ones that remain

grow stronger.

 

Desire brings fertilizer, tends to the leaves.

Her ladybugs devour aphid filigrees.

She talks to the greens.

In September she builds waterwalls

to shelter the near-ripened fruit.

She offers to share her tomatoes with you.

Take a bite, she says, her voice like sun.

You can’t stop with just one.

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wind so strong

the only part of me unwhipped

is my wonder

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One Nearly

 

almost to the top—

like being almost happy

when you almost kiss

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It’s like keeping a weasel in the freezer,

this wishing things were different than they are.

What could possible change

when what is most playful, most wild

is put on ice? Let your prayer be living weasel,

running weasel, frolicking and tricky weasel,

slinking weasel, leaping weasel, wriggling

ferocious weasel. The more you wish,

the more the temperature

on your wishes drops.

Weasel, weasel, weasel,

weasel, weasel, weasel, pop.

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Pray the road is long.

—C.P Cavafy, “Ithaka”

 

 

Sometimes it’s like this—

the journey to yourself is not

creeping barefoot on sharp rocks

nor crawling through the desert,

nor being pummeled by hail in steep territory—

yes, sometimes, though you’re wind-whipped

and sun-flushed and sandy and wearing borrowed shoes,

a new friend will meet you

just as you are and say,

I have an idea—

and will pull the brown dust covers off

of a shapely heap in the corner of the garage

to reveal a neoclassic Excalibur Phaeton,

impossibly shiny and shamelessly black

with a silver sword ornament agleam on the hood,

a cream leather interior

and a 5.0-liter engine—

and even though you don’t know what that last part means,

you know that the only right answer

is yes, please.

Yes, sometimes, the journey

to yourself comes with a chauffeur and

a guide who tell you stories as you ride

and both insist you need ice cream,

you choose salt caramel,

then they buy you fine chocolates

for tomorrow’s road—

and the fireflies come out

like the small miracles they are

making the sparkles they’ve evolved to make,

and the rain doesn’t come

and the night smells like roses,

yes, sometimes the journey is just like that.

 

 

 

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            for Colette and Bob

 

 

these white-tipped waves—

they know when to break,

to arrive, to return

 

*

 

running to the beach—

how swift the feet

are ten again

 

*

 

the great lake—

every morning the gift

of not seeing how it ends

 

*

 

walking to the pier’s end

the strange urge to keep

on walking

 

 

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One Delectable

 

for Jack & Julie

 

 

ripe tomato soup—

even the bowl

licks its lips

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We are entering turbulence, says the captain.

This plane does not do well with turbulence.

 

His voice crackles over the loudspeaker

just after the plane has begun to jostle in the sky.

 

I am not particularly worried about the plane.

The young engineer next to me in 14E has already

 

assured me that when considering safety factors,

the designers will double what is actually needed.

 

I am more worried about the captain’s choice of words.

It matters what we say to each other and how.

 

The ride will be turbulent, that would have sufficed.

Or perhaps, The ride will be turbulent,

 

it’s nothing to be concerned about.

The toddler in row 11 is screaming.

 

She would not feel better, regardless what

the captain said. Perhaps it is the mother in me

 

that longs to disregard the safety belt sign and go comfort her—

not so much for the child’s sake, but for her mother’s,

 

she looks so careworn and tired. I want to tell her,

It’s okay. This is just a short chapter.

 

I settle for a nod and a smile.

The truth is the world is full of turbulence.

 

The truth is it’s hard to hear anyone cry.

The truth is our work in the world

 

begins with comforting the people next to us,

strangers only until we take the first step.

 

 

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Skimming around the radio dial

I catch John Cougar Mellencamp

growling about R O C K in the USA,

and I sing along out of habit,

not necessarily out of joy,

the words and the rhythm

still immediately available,

though I can’t recall

what my son and I said

to each other just yesterday.

Crazy what sticks with us.

 

And you, John Cougar, what

ever happened to you

and your too tight blue jeans

and your bad boy smile?

It is hard to picture you

with gray hair and baggy pants,

drinking vanilla Ensure.

Rather, perhaps, to hear

that you flamed out in glory

instead of slowly getting old

like the rest of us.

 

Don’t get me wrong,

I feel lucky to get old,

to recognize less every day

the woman in the mirror.

I feel lucky to drive past little pink houses

and sing to my kids the refrain

of a song I once knew.

I feel lucky to do the slow, inconvenient

work of healing and loving.

 

I guess, John, what I am saying

is that it’s hard to see a shining thing

diminished, though I know, of course,

that all things end.

 

Perhaps, if you were sitting here

beside me in the car right now

you would tell me the real story—

how the work of our heart changes,

how there are many ways to shine,

how even the loudest rockers know that sometimes

the best endings are quiet,

that way you can make the listener lean in

to hear the last tender lines.

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when it’s morning,

when the birds are already

weaving music through the trees.

Easier when the dew

still shines on the leaves

and the world is warming.

In these ripening moments,

it’s hard to remember,

was it only hours ago,

how darkness poured over you

like oil in the ocean.

How nothing seems possible then.

But here, here is the bright red neck

of morning, humming through the shadows

on emerald wings, and here you are,

rising to meet it, not even

because you want to, but

because something in you rises

and carries you with it into the day.

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