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Archive for September, 2025

Fountaining

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , on September 30, 2025| Leave a Comment »

Inside us, life
like water leaps up
from the source
to discover itself
in relationship
with light and
air, glittering
as it catches
the sun, changing
its shape in the wind,
returning to source
as one water,
leaping up again.

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Welcome

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , on September 29, 2025| Leave a Comment »


 

 
Hello prickly part of me.
Welcome to my heart.
Look. In a moment
of bravery, I took down
all the exit signs.
Turns out they were
a pretense, anyway. Sure,
there are still doors,
but what I’ve found—
all doors revolve bringing
all parts of me right back
to right here.

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Sit with the Pain in Your Heart, he said,

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , on September 28, 2025| 8 Comments »


 
and I did. In quiet rooms. In restaurants.
On public benches beside the trash cans.
And sometimes I walked with the pain
in my heart. Through aspen forests and
the shade of tight alleys. On crowded city
streets and on long dirt roads. And I danced
with the pain in my heart—danced in
the kitchen and danced in the park
and danced with no music at all. And
I cooked with the pain and I wrote
with the pain and I gardened,
washed dishes and slept with the pain
and the pain was still pain. It did not
change. It still hasn’t changed.
But I did.
 
*title from a line from Greg Kimura, “Sacred Wine”

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While Sitting Near a Lake in Chicago

Posted in Uncategorized on September 27, 2025| 10 Comments »


 
Taio Cruz sings through the speakers
about lighting up this world like it’s
dynamite and though I can smell
someone grilling onions nearby and hear
the bright clink as waiters set plates
on tables, I am also dancing with my boy
in our living room fifteen years ago, Taio
blasting through the speakers, our hands
in the air as we sing, “We can go all night,”
and I’m looking at the shimmer
of the sun on the water and my son and I
are holding hands and spinning
and the geese are honking, a sharp
strangled sound, and my son and I
are chasing each other around the couch
and when the song changes to some
other tune I don’t know, my boy still here,
with me, dancing inside this moment
where the geese are now quiet, swimming
across the water, the wake behind them
disappearing. Some trails disappear.
Some are alive within us forever.

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One Other Version of Heaven

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , on September 27, 2025| 8 Comments »


for my baby brother
 
 
peaceful as any mountain meadow,
this chance to walk a city block
with sirens and screeching trains
and flashing lights and car alarms
and my arm tucked tightly into yours

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A Little Self-Talk

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , on September 25, 2025| 8 Comments »


 
 
My god, woman,
your feet. Those
are the dirtiest
heels I have ever
seen. Have you
been mowing
the yard in flip flops
and walking
barefoot in dirt?
For days?
Something
about it makes
me so darn
glad to be
in your skin.

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Right Here

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , on September 25, 2025| 7 Comments »


 
 
These autumn afternoons
I find myself in the garden
standing amongst the flowers.
Not deadheading. Not weeding.
Not harvesting. Not scanning
for aphids. Just standing there
a few moments, hands hanging
empty at my sides. It lasts only
a minute or two before I return
to work with a clarity, an attunement,
that felt impossible before.
I want to plant an inner garden.
One I visit without a step.
One that asks nothing of me
except that I find myself there.

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Placing Attention

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , on September 23, 2025| 2 Comments »


 
 
Today it was so clear.
It’s not all about the wounds
but the waking.
I took my broken heart outside
into the autumn air,
inhaled the scent of dying grass
and dying leaves and felt so alive
as the wind ravaged my untied hair.
Outside, I closed my eyes and went in.
In my ears, the roar of galvanized leaves.
On my face, unclouded sun.
And inside, such unnameable vastness
even now I stutter in wonder.

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Sitting with My Husband at the Wedding

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , on September 22, 2025| 6 Comments »


Watching the bride
and her father walk
the long distance
from the house
to the benches
in the grass,
I don’t even try
to hide my tears,
fat and warm,
my whole being aware
of how big it is
to give one’s life
to another,
and with her
every step,
my own
wedding comes
closer until
it is me
in a white dress
on the arm
of my father,
my husband
the man at the end
of the aisle,
my own lips
speaking till death
do us part,
my eyes glittering,
spilling, wet—
how sweet now
when the man
on my left
offers me his tissue
and somehow
with his kindness
and a wrinkled hand,
I touch those tears
thirty years ago.

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At Last

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , on September 21, 2025| Leave a Comment »


 
 
after years of bowing
at the altar of not-good-enough,
I turn toward the rest
of the world and fall in love
with what is here
 

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