Parting Gift
Friends, I will be your blooper girl,
your end-of-the-credits buffoon.
You can film me as I fall, as I fail, as I flop,
as I drop the tray of glasses,
as my strapless top slips.
I’ll make it easy on you.
At least twenty times a day
I forget my lines.
At least ninety times a day,
I trip on my certainty.
Yes, I will be the one
who will flub most every punch line.
I’ll be the poster child
for sincere ineptitude.
I know, my outtakes
are better than my A roll.
But dang, the path of failure
has always served me.
And man, most of the time
I can laugh as I blunder,
laugh until you wonder why
I am still laughing,
laugh because what else
can a woman do when
gaffes are her saving grace?