tall and clear
wholly illumined by sun
slowly I learn to see
the vase as lovely
even without the sunflowers
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged absence, allowing, poem, poetry, saying yes to the world as it is, sunflower on September 6, 2015| 1 Comment »
tall and clear
wholly illumined by sun
slowly I learn to see
the vase as lovely
even without the sunflowers
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged allowing, expectation, garden, poem, poetry, saying yes to the world as it is, sunflower on September 5, 2015| 1 Comment »
“Come on,” I say, “come on,
this is your only chance.”
Every day for a month
I have walked into the garden
to speak to the sunflowers.
I try not to sound too urgent.
I don’t want to scare them,
but it is September and they
are still tall green stalks
with small tight buds.
“Come on,” I say. “There is still
warmth enough for you to bloom.
It’s what you are here to do.”
Just yesterday there was an inch
of hail on the divide. Every day,
it seems less likely that there will
be sunflowers this year. I notice
how much I want them to bloom,
how they have become more to me
than sunflowers in the garden.
What is it in us that wants
to see things flourish, especially
seeds sown by our own hands?
The sunflowers will bloom or they
will not. The moment I relax into this—
saying yes to the world just as it is—
inside me, I feel acres and acres
of golden heads all nodding.
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged allowing, happiness, poem, poetry, saying yes to the world as it is on March 25, 2015| 7 Comments »
Perhaps when we finally see
there is no point to making things
look any better than they are,
then whatever friction
we’ve found in the world
is met with rose oil
and the great heavy gears
cease to grind
and spin with silent ease.
The only sustainable plots
are the ones no one has planted—
ones in which flowers, grasses and trees
rise up on their own.
They know when to sprout,
when to bloom, when to seed.
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged allowing, blank page, expectation, poem, poetry, unfolding, vision on January 8, 2015| 5 Comments »
This blank page of a day.
Last night, I had already crumpled
up the paper and thrown it in the trash.
With twin fists, I made it so small,
told myself there were no stories
I was interested in knowing.
This morning, picking it up again,
I watched the paper unrumple itself,
and unfold and unfold until
it was a million million times larger
than any page I could imagine,
big enough to have any story
fit on it, any story at all, even
happily ever after.
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged allowing, nest, poem, poetry on September 24, 2014| 2 Comments »
inspired by The Nest by Teddy Macker
Teach me, world, to weave
a nest with whatever scraps I find—
sticks, dry grass, old thread,
twine, barbed wire, plastic bags,
the sad headlines of war. Teach
me to make a haven out of mud
and shit and thistle down, a cozy
space, just room enough, no more.
And then, though I’ll grow comfortable,
teach me to fly away from whatever
comfort I’ve made—not because
I think I’m going somewhere better,
but because there is a rising
in the blood that says go. Teach
me to take nothing but my song
and the silence inside each note.
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged allowing, poem, poetry, running, voices on August 28, 2014| 2 Comments »
If you must know, I was scared,
running above tree line in a snowstorm,
unable to see more than twenty feet in front
of my slipping feet. And no one else around.
So why did I keep running? Was it courage?
Determination? Stubborn foolishness?
When the story ends happily ever after,
it is easy to forget there was another possible ending,
but sometimes these alternate worlds
invite themselves into our thoughts,
strange tides of what if? and what then?
Though they are unpleasant, I welcome them.
Why not? I am safe, and they are like
the mean girls, the ones who say the cruelest things,
but because there is no truth in what they say,
it’s not so hard to just nod my head and smile.
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged allowing, parsley, poem, poetry, saying yes to the world as it is on August 25, 2014| 2 Comments »
Seldom does anyone praise the parsley.
But there is dignity in the way
it returned to the garden this year
without needing to be planted.
Dignity in the way it pushed its dark
curls through the late snows of spring.
Already summer is goldening,
and only once have I used
the parsley, snipped it into
a bowl of barley with lemon
and garlic and oil. How perfect
it tasted then, and how grateful I was
for parsley to be so precisely parsley,
so vibrant and green to the tongue.
Since then I have passed it by.
There is so much in the world
to appreciate, each thing appearing
as itself. How easy it is to prefer.
But oh, the parsley. It does not need
my approval to flourish. It finds its worth
in the fact that it is here, thriving
in full sun, its yellow umbels
bowing over the earth.
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged allowing, loss, poem, poetry, stone, surrender, wanting on May 16, 2014| 1 Comment »
After begging the stone
after asking the stone
after wishing the stone
after entreating the stone
after bribing the stone
after wanting the stone
after beseeching the stone
to become a butterfly
I sit with the stone
and notice how quiet
it is in my head when
a stone is a stone.
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged allowing, anticipation, being present, poem, poetry, waiting on January 9, 2014| 1 Comment »
The snow begins
then stops to fall.
In the alley, brown
tracks run against the white.
The gray folds through the air
and unfolds. Nothing
about this day seems
capable of settling in.
It is a like a woman
thinking about what
she wants. The blossoms
of her thoughts open
like roses in fast forward.
They wilt and dry in similar
fashion. They are out of season.
This does not stop them.
Sometimes we like to think
we are waiting. Waiting
for something marvelous to happen,
or waiting for an ache to disappear,
or waiting for gray to be
something other than gray.
And sometimes we see what
a gift it is, this indecisive day,
this watching imaginary blooms
that seem so real you can almost
smell the red perfume, almost.
Outside the window,
it is snowing again. No,
not snowing. But the gray
it has settled in and now
the dirty tracks look
like empty staves and anyone
listening might hear through the glass
how the birds don’t wait
to fill in the space with song.
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged allowing, love, marriage, poem, poetry, space on December 25, 2013| 1 Comment »
When I Drop the Stubbornness
All day I practice
noticing the space
between us, feeling
the subtle tugs, the
repulsions, the charge,
the release. Sometimes
I forget to let it happen,
try to force a nearness or
a solitude. That is when
I can feel it, how real
the space is, almost as if
you are one and I am another
and the space between us
is a third. I have noticed
that when you and I,
at the same time, allow
ourselves to lean—
is that the right word?—
perhaps it is more that we
open to that space,
then I notice how easy it is
to be for each other
as the water is for the moon,
holding entirely without
holding at all, not changing
and utterly transformed.