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Posts Tagged ‘buddhist teaching’

The Tender Gap

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , on May 20, 2024| 8 Comments »

If an arrow strikes you, you feel pain where it enters. If a second arrow strikes the same place, the pain is greatly intensified. The first arrow represents unwelcome events, such as rejection, loss, failure and injury. The second arrow represents our reaction to these events, such as worry, fear, anger, criticism and despair.
—gloss of the Buddhist teaching from the Sallatha Sutta, “The Arrow”


In the moment after the first arrow has hit
is a small gap in which I sit and reel
from the pain of the tip.
How raw I am then, stunned
by the burn, by the sting.
How easy in that moment
to wound myself again
with second arrows
fashioned of shame and blame.
As if it’s wrong to be hurt.
As if I should have evaded being hit.
In that gap before I raise my own bow,
before I nock the arrow,
before the tension builds in my arm
from pulling back the string,
there, I want to build a nest,
a safe and spacious place to rest,
a place where I feel the pain
and treat myself with the same gentleness
I would offer anyone else who is hurting.
I want to weave in blue and green ribbons
of tenderness and let my body feel what it feels.
I want to curl into that gap
with all my senses open,
want to let the throb be throb,
let the ache be ache,
and surround it with enough softness
that it can heal.
Such a sacred gap, that moment
in which I choose to let my arms hang by my sides,
choose to put down the arrow
and weave the bowstring
into the nest.

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