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Posts Tagged ‘self-protection’

Every fortress I have ever built

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , on February 12, 2026| 4 Comments »


 
 
around my heart has come down.
Oh sure, I’ve rebuilt them with stones
of indifference. Stones of distraction.
Stones of unwillingness to see and be seen.
I’ve rebuilt the fortresses again. Again.
But then come flames of heartbreak.
Cannons of loss. The triple promises
of entropy, gravity and time. And at last,
too exhausted to lift the stones again,
I shiver with the cold wind of fear.
Sting from the sharp blades of betrayal.
But I feel, too, the gentle hand of another
as it holds my trembling hand.
Feel the body soften as I listen
to the music I could never make alone.
How present I can be when I no longer try
to rebuild the fortress. Present
enough to listen for the goodness
in the hearts of others. Present enough
to listen for the goodness in mine.

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The Layers

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , on December 6, 2025| 6 Comments »


 
 
Furrowed and runnelled and rough,
the gnarled bark of this old cottonwood.
The dead thickness protects living tissue
from cold, from wind, from flames.
I, too, am older, but somehow survival
shows up for me the opposite.
Any shields I would build up as barriers—
life keeps peeling them away.
 
What thickens around me now are layers
of dynamic compassion—vital, vulnerable,
ever-growing. They do not protect
against wounds. Instead, they seem to say,
Be with what aches, my dear. Trusting
discomfort is the only way.

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Generous Assumptions

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , on December 9, 2024| 16 Comments »


I would like to open my heart to you
and keep it open, but the truth is
sometimes all it takes is a glance,
or the lack of a glance, or a certain tone,
or a serrated word, and instantly the heart
puts on its armor, which is something like
a coat of porcupine quills, only
the quills go inward, too, and the instant
I wear it, I am aware of how much it hurts
to wear it. How in that moment when I seek
to protect myself, I wound myself.
What if I believed you are doing the best you can
considering the forces that have shaped you?
What if I listened past your words, looked through
your actions to see how you, too, feel threatened?
The Buddha said we are always moving
toward or away from freedom.
Could I, in that moment before the prickly coat
has started doing its prickly work,
could I move toward freedom
by refusing to put it on? Could I choose instead
the silken robe of generous assumptions,
the one that allows for compassion, connection,
even kindness toward you, toward myself?
Already, just thinking about it being possible,
I notice a softening, a curiosity about how I might
change not you, but myself. Already, I feel
how fluid this robe is, how gently it swirls around me,
how strong its fibers are, how freeing it is, cool
and breezy, this gift to myself.  

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Back Up Plan

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , on November 15, 2015| 1 Comment »

I’m gonna make me a potion of guardrails,

the silver kind that line mountain roads,

and some barbed wire fences, the kind

that shred skin that comes too close.

I’ll put in ravines and chasms and cliffs

so high no one’s ever seen the top.

And I’ll distill it into a single drop

and put it into a crystal vial that fits

in the pocket closest to my heart.

And I’ll sleep with it on my pillow.

And I’ll drink that potion, I swear I will,

if you come one step closer, even in my dreams,

with those tender hands, those lips

so full of kisses, those promises

that it will be different this time.

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