When they weigh my heart
and chart it, when they fill in
the number of grams and add it
to the long inventory of parts–
the kidneys, the liver, the missing
wisdom teeth–alongside the report
of the aorta’s appearance and the progression
of plaque, there will be no accounting
of the levity that came from loving,
nor the burden of what was lost, weightless
as the color blue, weightless as
the scent of lilies, weightless
as your smile.
Autopsy
July 24, 2012 by Rosemerry
Rosemerry, I like this, but this suggestion: replace “accounting” with “charting.” (What follows immediately after, is the very accounting you say won’t take place, and “charting” in addition to continuing its use in line 2, connotes the tangible measuring of physical science-ing.) Also, in much the same manner, I think “weightless” isn’t the “right word.” Perhaps, “weighted,” for both its triple-beam scale, and its of-the-heart, measured accountings. Okay, “Just one more thing…” I’d remove “long,” from in front of “inventory.”
You’re using that Colorado College pre-med start, after all, eh?
great feedback, Ed, thanks! it was all inspired by my friend who was reading an autopsy of her father, and it was so strange to think of a life that way, reduced to the weight of its parts.
Don’t mean no trouble here, but I love that line,
“there will be no accounting
of the levity that came from loving,…” — I think it’s dead on! (though I do think the weightless is a bit overdone).