Oh hear that, love,
the night sky has become
an opera of blossoms.
The stars are opening
into song for anyone
who will listen.
As always, someone’s
heart is breaking,
someone’s getting even.
And someone’s love
is gaining wings.
And someone’s trapped
in prison. And all of us
are invited to be
singers in the chorus.
Or perhaps
to be the silence.
Or perhaps to write
the score. Oh darn
the world of daytime things
that keeps us from this art.
Let’s pretend that we don’t know
the end. Now’s the time
the start.
In a way, those first lines address the reader too, because it feels so intimate, and I think that’s good, because it tries to explain the loneliness more expansively than just to one person. The only thing I’d change is the “oh darn”:
… . How
the world of daytime things
keeps us from this art.
yes, yes, what¹s up with that darn? But I don¹t want to mess with the rhythm, so I redid it ³oh how the world of daytime things can steal us from this art ² Thanks for the help! Xo r
From: “comment-reply@wordpress.com” Reply-To: Date: Tuesday, August 25, 2015 at 7:29 PM To: Rosemerry Trommer Subject: [A Hundred Falling Veils] Comment: “Accidental Libretto”
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Yes, I see (or rather, hear). Nice:-)