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Archive for March, 2016

Learning to Bow

 

 

 

I think the invitation is to bow, I said.

I was, of course, thinking only metaphor.

But the next day I found myself

in bowing class—a well lit room

with a maple floor. The teacher

had an accent and I knew

that she meant business.

We bowed to the center, bowed

to the side, bowed with our heads

and our backs and our ribs,

bowed from standing, bowed

while seated, bowed on our knees

and bowed on our bellies. Every cell of me

bowed and bowed and bowed

and bowed until I puddled

on the floor. Today, every muscle

aches with the memory of bowing.

Some voice says to me, there has

to be another way. And another voice

says, oh darling, can you bow

to the ache? Here, I will show you how.

 

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Four Surprise Joys

 

 

 

steep, this trail—

one more reason to pause often

and notice how beautiful

 

*

 

the same rich tea—

drinking it from different cups

together

 

*

 

without looking

I find you—

unexpected sun

 

*

 

sunset so pink

the mind undoes another button—

the whole world blushes

 

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Marvel

 

 

 

standing

in two worlds at once—

one heart

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One Consolation

 

 

 

today in the trees

and in the gray March sky

not one heron—

today enough to know

sometimes there are herons

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three roosting herons

in the empty cottonwood—

 

stopping to watch

them not move,

 

I knew

so completely,

 

though I

would perhaps

 

argue against it

now,

 

beauty

is enough.

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We were 10-year-old girls

huddled around the book

that Stacia’s mother had given to her,

and we read in chorus the names of the body parts,

penis, vagina, labia, testicles,

the words tasted like foreign food on our tongues—

so strange they made us giggle—

and there was something else,

a pull in my belly, a breathlessness

inside my voice

as I read out loud for the others

all about how the act was done.

There was nothing in the book

about love or even the violet crush

of lust. Just the facts about

how the bodies fit and the science

of what might happen then

when the sperm fertilized the egg.

The authors did not mention

how diamonds might explode

through your toes, did not mention

gasping or humming or moans—

no, mostly we wondered why

anyone would ever want

to do what they showed

on page 29, that page we

couldn’t quite stop

our hands from returning to

so we could stare

at those bodies

so impossibly joined

again, again.

 

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what I say and what I want

to say, a thousand

thousand lilies grow and throw

their perfume everywhere—

oh they could give a shit

about propriety

or rules

or scores

or lists of tiptoed shoulds.

 

And they don’t give a damn

about some petty pleasantries

around the weather.

 

Sometimes I fancy

you can smell

their warm and honeyed

fragrance,

bright and lively,

fancy you might

visit all these petals

arching through our awkward spaces

oh so pinkly,

 

fancy you might find delight

in how

with unguarded exuberance

they thrive

(can you smell them?

I do)

 

in these miles and miles

of provocative

untouched sweetness

so bountiful

between us.

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you, the traveler

thirsting in the desert

and me, the whisky

wishing I could be

your water

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Two Reframings

 

 

 

this wound—

re-teaching my tongue to name it

blessing

 

*

 

a sad song

so beautiful even the skylark

stops to listen

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for Heartbeat, oh my god do I love you women

 

 

each time we sing

I forget everything

except the original joy

of being one small voice

in one great song

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