Dead end. That is what the sign said.
Funny how long I’ve believed I could only walk on the road.
It was the deer who showed me how to leap the fence,
how to circle the sign in irregular orbits.
There was no end to the number of paths I might choose.
I was clumsy at first, unversed in this new navigation—
the earth so soft I easily lost my balance.
It was the breath that taught me to pour my weight
first into one foot, then into the other.
My soles relearned how to meet the ground.
It was the clouds that showed me how to let myself
be orchestrated by wind, spiraling like a bird,
as if stirred by some great hand.
Ever since I began circling, I’ve come to see that dead ends
as invitations.
I like this one very much, except I want to take a nanosecond to complain about the last two lines. First, I think the word “that” needs to go, a teeny typo? But second, I’m not convinced you need those lines. They only summarize what I think is already clear, the invitation exists in the poem without pointing that out. Also, the “…some great hand” is such a beautiful spot for this poem to come down. It’s a keeper, either way.
great point about the extra that and I see what you mean about it summing it up too much at the end, though it still feels like it needs something else there I will see what might be a door instead of a wall there
Thanks for your good ear, David, r
Watch my TEDx talk The Art of Changing Metaphors: TEDX Rosemerry Trommer
Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer 970-729-1838 wordwoman.com
From: “comment-reply@wordpress.com” Reply-To: Date: Monday, October 3, 2016 at 8:18 PM To: Rosemerry Trommer Subject: [A Hundred Falling Veils] Comment: “Growing Orbits”
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