Apparently no one told the tickle in my throat
that this was a silent retreat.
All it wanted to do was explore the sound
of throat clearing, the sound of cough.
All around me the sound of nothing
but breathing and sitting, but in me,
this tickle saying Notice me, Notice me.
Here I am and what will you do about it?
I told the tickle, If I were freeclimbing,
I would ignore you. My life would depend on it.
The tickle said, but you’re here,
here in a quiet room, and your life is at stake
in a much different way. What are you willing
to notice? What do you wish away?
Isn’t this just one more way you tell yourself
life would be better if it were different?
Oh … how I can relate … even in advance … as I don’t think I ever really had the ‘urge’ to actually attend a silent retreat …
A friend of mine had, for ten days straight.
I didn’t know if I feared or admired her. …
She said it was both the hardest and the oddest time
She’d ever had.
Here’s to the tickle in one’s throat.
To have a voice.
🙂
Na’ama
Yes, here’s to the tickle! And to the silence. And to the voice that emerges … xo!
🙂
Wonderful post and I can relate to that gentle but oh so distracting tickle while on retreat. I had a similar experience on retreat where I kept thinking, “if only the tickle would go away, then everything would be perfect”. So many lessons that tickle brings out…
ha! Thank you for this feedback … in it together, this learning, unlearning