Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘mothering’

Finn comes in, hands cupped
and asks me for a jar. What for?
I ask, and he lets me peek between

his palms to see the butterfly.
He is all aglow with the catching of it,
and I do not try to hide my regret.

Let it go, I say, it will be so much happier, love.
No, he shouts, and looks about
for a jar since I won’t help him out.

Please Finn, I say, let it go,
but he is intent on keeping
what is beautiful. He pokes holes

in the lid so the admiral can breathe,
gives it a yellow salsify and insists
that it’s sipping nectar. The butterfly,

all violent wing, flaps a long time before
settling beside the pretty weed.
Finn stares in the jar at his butterfly.

It is pure, his admiration for the
loveliness he sees, so pure that I squeeze him
tight, too tight perhaps, my arms

around the place he would have wings.

Read Full Post »

Winging It

What will our children do in the morning if they do not see us fly?
—Rumi, “The Way Wings Should,” translated by Daniel Ladinsky

Dear Rumi,

You tell me to fly, to cartwheel
around the sky, to soar, to reel,
to spiral in the wind. But
there is a nest and two hungry mouths
and two bodies not yet fully feathered.
It’s easy enough for you to advise
I should let my heart play,
as you say, “the way
wings should.” You
probably had someone else
at your nest to care for your
young while you unfurled
your wings and wheeled with Shams
and felt the joy of rising.
Perhaps I am too literal.
Perhaps you mean later in life.
Perhaps you mean bit by bit.
Perhaps you mean fly in this moment,
wherever I am. Perhaps you mean
I have put too much of a cage
on the word “should,”
have limited notions
of what flying looks like.
I thought I knew what wings
should do. But maybe this letting
go of what I thought I needed,
perhaps this, too, is flight.

Read Full Post »

We took a ride
in a one horse open
sleigh today,

and I was one horse
and the red sled
was the open sleigh

and the kids laughed
and reeled as we
trudged through

the field and
searched for the perfect
Christmas tree,

which was not
hard to find.
The noon sun, it caught

in large facets of snow
and we sang, “o’er the fields
we go, laughing …”

but just as we got
to the laughing part
and I was belting

“Ho ho ho,”
the kids began kicking
each other and throwing

snow in each other’s faces
and tipping the red sled
so that they tumbled out

not giggling at all
but shrieking,
“I hate you! Go away!”

And this is how
the bliss goes,
sometimes it looks

a lot like bliss
and sometimes
no.

Read Full Post »

Most people have had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
—Bronnie Ware, Top Five Regrets of the Dying

Three inches of chicken feathers
fell overnight, and my son,
still dressed in blue striped pajamas,

went scampering out
to move snow. We moved
snow for an hour. Two hours?

We moved snow from one place
to another. We moved snow
and moved more snow.

Whose dream is that?
To move snow? But between
the stripes of asphalt and white

the morning filled in
with the richest laughter.
No reason to laugh except

we were shoveling and the snow
was light and the sky was gray
and it looked, hallelujah,

as if it might snow some more
so that we could keep moving
together outside, warm

and breathless and choosing
to shovel, to move piles of snow
joyfully from one place to another.

Read Full Post »

Losing the Self

The boy tugs
on the tooth,
it hangs
by the root,
I hang
on his joy
oh gaping
beamish budding
boy.

Read Full Post »

Not today, I said,
no snacks in the car for kids
who don’t eat their breakfast,
but here,
I said,
and extended my empty right hand
to the back seat, Here
are some pretend snacks
.
On the radio, Cake
was singing a song
about wanting
to love someone madly
when my son shouted, Mine,
and my daughter burst, Mine,
and a strident battle ensued
and real tears began
to splash on invisible
snacks being snatched
and seized by four empty,
grasping, hands.

Read Full Post »

At seven, my son
knows everything.
His mother? She’s practicing
to be like a gulley
guttered after a flood

Read Full Post »

Accordion Tanka

was it this morning
or six years ago
the little boy
asking with both arms
for me to carry him

Read Full Post »

« Newer Posts