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Posts Tagged ‘wave’

Love, Like Math


 
 
People think it’s a moment of Eureka!
But it’s more like a wave,
said the mathematician,
and though he was speaking
of inventing new math,
I thought of discovering new love,
a wave of startling amplitude,
the thrill of energy passing through,
a trough of fear and a crest
of yes. A whole lotta blue.
I don’t remember much
of physics, but I recall
the surge, the crash,
the holding my breath.
I remember the certainty
I would drown, the equal terror
of finding myself on dry land.
It’s not just a flash of insight, he said.
I thought of how long I’ve been
solving for love.
Yeah, I said. I understand.

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Analog

for Craig
 
           
It’s so human, the hand,
how it rises
to wave to a friend,
as if it is a direct extension
of the heart. Perhaps
that is why, in these days
of emojis and AI,
when you write to tell me
you wave each time
you drive past my house,
my hand rises to wave back,
though I don’t know where you are
or when’s the last time
you passed by my home,
but, here, friend,
wherever you are,
here’s my hand,
palm open, arm high,
not electromagnetic
but no less full
of song and light
this wave reaching
across the night.

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The girl with her goggles on pouts when the waves end.

You didn’t stay with me, she says. She holds on to my arm,

as we bob in the clear blue water of the pool. You stay with me,

she says. All around us, the high sun of summer makes

everything gleam. We splash and bob until the bell sounds,

and a collective squeal erupts from the crowded pool.

I stay as I have been told. The waves begin, small at first,

and the girl hangs on. And then the man-made surf

thrashes at our bodies, tugs at our suits. I do not

remember her letting go. I remember watching her head

disappear beneath the wave and her smile as she

emerged on the other side before she dove into the next swell.

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Again, the wave.
The softening. The scrubbing
away of whoever I think I am.
It does no good to wish
it would stop. Everything returns.
Erosion is not a curse.
It is the way the world works.
We build ourselves up
only to lose what we build.
There is no real loss in this.
The sandstone returns
to sand before returning
again to stone. All the grains
are accounted for.
There is no thrill in counting.
We break down until
the breaking down is done.
I try to not plan the rebuild.
For now, grace in the breaking,
grace in the way the waves
of loss move across me
until I am smooth, until
I can move with the waves
and let myself be led, until
there is nothing left to do,
even the wishing gone.

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It would take weeks
to walk to your house, still
our hearts so close.

*

This morning I ski
into the woods—forty years
later I ski out.

*

The snow did not stop
when I said stop, but it did
not fall forever.

*

Across the lake
invisible in the trees,
the crow in my ear.

*

That ripple
never travels and it is
always new water.

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