every moment flees its own overflowing
—Karen Chamberlain, Ephedra
no birds wheel
in the air tonight—
wings in my song
*
swallowing darkness
in great gulps
a few stars catch in my teeth
*
I really thought
I knew something
about not knowing
*
gathering ephedra
my hands
are not my own hands
*
naked
I wear
a red dress
*
the night sky offered
to loan me its black skirt
hope it’s not too small
I like these, but feeling compelled to suggest a pair of tweaks, second and third overflows:
“swallowing darkness/_with_ great gulps/…”
“I _truly_ thought/I knew something/…”
Of the six, I especially like the final two. Numero 5 for its play; 6 for its imagery.
Yes to the tweaks, thanks!
Lovely set, with the Chamberlain quote to set it up. You know, the more I read them the more I feel like everything starts with number two. Numero uno reads like an orphan, or as Hugo might have said in his book The Triggering Town, the trigger. Try to read it as Five overflowings, that first one (now, which was really the second) engages the reader BIG time. And it rolls back to that last one so much more, changing the tone so beautifully.
thanks ed and david … you’re right, i will ditch number one and go with five overflowings. 🙂 and that red dress, have you ever read Kim Addonizio’s poem about the red dress? that was the inspiration …
I have read that red dress and yes, to address its wonder is how I see it appearing in your poem.