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Archive for November, 2016

 

 

 

Something in me rails against the word inevitable,

wants to root for underdogs and impossibilities.

 

But everything and everyone lets us down sometime,

and we meet the inevitability we would rather not know.

 

Last week, it was the potatoes. When we went

to harvest them, we found them abundant

 

in the sandy earth, but with their red skins pocked

with black scabs. That’s where the sorrow comes in.

 

Later I learn Black Scab is the common name

for the pathogen. There’s something almost comforting

 

in calling things as they are. I learn

that when peeling the potatoes, if I peel deep enough,

 

eventually the dark spots disappear.

And the potatoes taste delicious, somehow

 

more potato than the potatoes in the store.

The sorrow was just a surface thing, not like

 

the letter I received today outlining the betrayals

of a friend. How I longed for it to be a surface thing then—

 

something I could peel and find the core still good,

still full of nourishment, still unmarred.

 

How impossible it felt to call things as they are.

I longed for the potatoes to be like auguries,

 

omens that everything would be okay,

I wanted them to be portents that when we dig

 

there is treasure to be found, though

it may not look anything like we thought.

 

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One Inevitable

 

 

 

looking for a place

to rest in beauty I found

a garden needing to be tended

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One Trip

 

 

 

driving the back roads

for so long even my songs

are covered in dust

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The Soul Has Demands

 

with thanks to Mirabai, Lorca and Judyth Hill

 

 

I want my body to fall down

into a heap of sandalwood.

I’ve been made of crystal too long.

 

I have spent too many days

trying to love what I do not love.

I want my body to fall down

 

into a heap of mahogany.

You ask me why. The square root

of negativity is negativity.

 

My prayers want more than

a new language, they want

new lips, a new tongue.

 

Golden ideas hammer

against my facts. Before the moon’s

up, it’s already down.

 

I want my body to fall

into a heap of walnut or cherry.

Carve me into un violencello,

 

un bandalon, un arpa, smooth,

warmed and played

by curious hands into song.

 

The rose says this:

the square root of bliss

is bliss.

 

 

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A poem based on The Treachery of Images

 

 

No, of course it’s not a pipe,

and I am not a woman

looking at an image

of a pipe,

and this is not

a love poem.

Just today I did not put a frame

around my tears.

I felt them slip,

wet and messy,

hot and light

against my cheeks,

the rich and pungent

scent of smoke

nowhere

to be found.

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The maker of gloves

is busy now. She knows

there are many hands

to sheath, much weeding

to be done. All the paths

of the garden are overrun

by brambles. The fountains

are covered in thorns.

The disarray didn’t happen overnight,

but in our present haste

to make things quickly right,

we’ve arrived with eager hands bare

and now they are bleeding, numb.

Attuned only to beauty,

how tender we’ve let

our hands become.

The maker of gloves

does not waste any time

tsk tsking. She starts

right in on her knitting,

infusing each stitch

with courage, ferocity.

Do not be surprised

when her gloves

arrive at your door.

Slip them on. They are

not for ornament.

She has made

them so you will feel

invincible. It’s not true,

but you must believe it.

The time for hard work has come.

 

 

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Candor

 

 

 

That’s when the words

arrive barefoot

and not in the tight laced shoes

we set out for them

by the door,

 

and they surprise us—

perhaps because

they appeared on the lips

via tiptoe,

perhaps because

they bypassed the brain

with a leap—

 

so that before

we have a chance

to stop the rogue words,

they bounce

off the tongue

and out into the air

where anyone,

even we—

despite our horror—

are astonished

at their pluck,

 

so naked and

going for it

anyway.

 

 

 

 

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All the Way Home

 

 

Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.

—Helen Keller

 

 

Three days after

I think the world

is coming apart,

in the back seat

of the car

my daughter

is improvised

by a song—

I eavesdrop

as she mumbles

along

to an accidental

tune,

change is

wonderful

change

is wonderful.

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Still Life with Skull

they look hollow,

the sockets where the eyes

once were,

or is it the looker

who is hollow?

*

map of the skull—

all the places her dust has been,

all the places it will go

*

it is months

before he can tell her

that her skull is creepy,

that it scares him—

he hides it behind the books

*

across the brow,

a forever stamp,

a lotus, full bloom—

shhhh, don’t tell her

it’s already been canceled

*

golden wings in the back

of her skull,

is it any wonder

every morning

her thoughts fly east?

*

there are monks

who use skulls as a centerpiece—

perhaps as a symbol

of mortality, perhaps

because it’s lovely

*

there’s a red leaf

where her mouth would be—

here hung those lips

that loved

to kiss*

*

all around the skull on the table

are the skulls of the living,

so much shedding left to be done

*

behind the birding book

she finds the skull,

puts it on the table again

 

*”Here hung those lips that I have kissed I know not how oft,” in Hamlet, William Shakespeare

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How Long Has It Been?

 

 

 

They sit on the shelf now, mostly,

or have moved into boxes of memory,

those soft cloth dolls we once cradled

and cuddled and dragged from bed

to the yard to the car to the store.

They went everywhere with us,

their small yarn eyes always open,

never narrowing in disapproval,

never turning to shine on someone else.

Their plump cheeks eternally blushing,

their smile never uncurling

into disinterest, never snarling

into disdain. We could tell them

everything—about the girl

down the street who jeered

that our plaid pants were too short,

who sneered at the way we ran.

 

We could tell them about

the blue monster who lived in the closet,

and how he sometimes slipped out

to crawl beneath our bed.

And they listened. And smiled.

And let us hold them and suck

on their hands—or their hats—if that’s

what made the night feel safe.

They never whispered mean

words about us to their friends

while we were off at school.

Sometimes, it’s true, they would

disappear. That’s what all

beloved things do. And then,

days later perhaps, they’d be found

under a pillow on the couch or out

beneath the willow tree sitting

in the dirt beside the shovel and pail.

 

Now, it is we who have disappeared

into the world of harder things—

keys and doors and ceilings,

and women with words

like sticks and men with eyes

that seldom meet our eyes.

We are too old for dolls.

Still, there is in us, perhaps,

the faded longing to hold something

soft, something so familiar,

something so well loved,

so absent of cruelty

it makes us feel capable

of loving utterly, unguardedly again.

 

 

 

 

 

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