while pouring tea for failure,
I forgot to add the tea—
we drink the hot water together and laugh
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged failure, poem, poetry, tea on April 3, 2018| Leave a Comment »
while pouring tea for failure,
I forgot to add the tea—
we drink the hot water together and laugh
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged busy, failure, forgiveness, poem, poetry on March 21, 2018| Leave a Comment »
Self-forgiveness is not the first impulse.
In fact, I curse. Run my hands through my hair,
tug at my scalp. Sigh. Again. My shoulders fall slack
in the place where my wings would be.
In my gut, the seed of apology starts to root.
Perhaps that is what changes things,
what allows me to let failure look me in the face,
let it trace my cheeks, the barest caress.
It never asks me to be beautiful. It never
expects nor wants perfection. It touches me so tenderly,
is it any wonder that soon the apology
spills from my lips like the clearest stream,
and I stand in the cold clear rush of it.
The whole world looks different from here.
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged courage, failure, love, poem, poetry, tightrope on February 22, 2018| 2 Comments »
Somewhere in my heart
there is a tiny woman
with a crimson scarf
and hair pulled back
who is balancing
on a tightrope—
she has not yet learned
that it is okay
for her to fall,
that the net
will always catch her,
so she keeps doing
the same boring walk
back and forth
thinking how brave
and how proficient
she is at staying
on the rope,
never learning
she could also
jump and swing
and leap and twirl and fall
and get back up.
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged daughter in law, failure, family dynamics, holiday meal, pumpkin pie, storytelling on December 18, 2017| 1 Comment »
Dear poetry friends,
I’ve been dabbling in storytelling, both written and oral, and this month Edible Southwest, an elegant gourmet magazine, picked up a story of mine in their annual storytelling issue. It’s a story of when things go wrong around holiday meals … and how sometimes, that allows for things to go right …
You can check it out here: The Lesson of the Daughter-in-Law
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged failure, journey, poem, poetry, whistling on October 15, 2017| Leave a Comment »
That’s what cars are for,
said the master whistler, when I told him
I could not whistle.
I auditioned for him
with my one-note draft,
and he said, Yeah, I
can work with that,
which I took to mean
that I could work with that.
Eventually, he said,
you’ll arrive at a tone.
And so I whistled
four hours as I drove north,
starting with Moon River,
Skylark, and Paris in Springtime,
then, demoralized
by lack of progress,
turned on the eighties station
and created a breeze
to accompany INXS, Howard Jones,
Prince and Tone Loc.
The difference between
what I heard in my head
and what came from my lips—
so much beauty
missing. And just
before arriving at my own
front door, I had somehow
begun a gusty rendition
of When the Saints Go Marching In,
and thought to myself,
yeah, I think I might
be getting it, but five
verses later laughed
at my longing for success.
When I opened the door
of the car, I felt the wind
meet my face. I let it
carry the almost notes
and decided tomorrow
I’d try some Moondance
and Fever before Hot Cross Buns,
knowing how it takes
a lot of wind
before one’s ship comes in.
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged cup tower, failure, nonattachment, poem, poetry on May 29, 2017| Leave a Comment »
building a cup tower,
then laughing as they all come down,
inviting myself
to imagine the word Dixie
on all these towers I’ve built
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged failure, falling in love with the world, poem, poetry, saying yes to the world as it is on April 19, 2017| Leave a Comment »
After hoping and trying
and failing and hoping
and trying and failing
and hoping and trying
and failing the mind
perhaps will finally say
I don’t know what comes next
and, startled by the sweet
clarity of this, the body
raises both arms, though
the mind didn’t tell it to—
yes, the arms rise weightless
and open, as if there is nothing
they aren’t ready to embrace,
as if the world as it is
might come rushing in.
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged failure, Joi Sharp, poem, poetry, transformation on March 24, 2017| 4 Comments »
This is the path of failure. We see that our definition of success is what is not working. What is working is deep, unseen. —Joi Sharp
Even a small discontent is enough to shut us down,
convince us that the world is cold and indifferent.
Everywhere there’s evidence of this: The slush
that falls on your car seat when you open the car door.
The carrion eaters with their great black wings
that linger beside the road. You pray for sun,
and it gets darker. Someone asks
you a question, and you see your whole life
fold into one small envelope of failure.
Then one day you hit against the same
impassable wall you always hit and this time you fall
to your knees, not because you are weak,
but because at last you are ready to be opened.
Oh sweet failure, how it leads us.
Any unhappy ending is only an invitation
to crawl into the blank pages
of the next unwritten chapter.
It was never success that transformed us—
always the breaking. Not the breaking itself,
but the mystery inside pushing through us
like bindweed through pavement
making cracks in everything
we think we know so that the world
can come streaming in.
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged failure, life lesson, poem, poetry on July 2, 2016| Leave a Comment »
when all the balls drop
pick them up with a smile
and let the last thing
they see be the sparkle in your eye
and your hands no longer grasping
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged failure, poem, poetry, vole on June 30, 2016| 1 Comment »
It didn’t snap,
the trap, when the vole
ran across it—I watched
from my kitchen window
as the fat gray body
emerged from the grass
and traipsed across the waiting trap
before it looped through the pansies
and returned to the lawn.
And I, who set the trap
with Adam’s Smooth Peanut Butter,
laughed with strange delight
in my failure to kill
that damn little kale eating vole.
What is it in us that learns to relax?
The tips of lawn grass trembled
as the vole ran its path back to the field,
oblivious to my scheming.
It knew only that the mint overtaking
the pansies was delicious,
so green, so fresh.