no ribbons, no bows,
no fancy wrapping, no box—
you, the very gift
Posts Tagged ‘vulnerability’
One Present
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged authenticity, gift, poem, poetry, vulnerability on December 26, 2019| Leave a Comment »
After Six Days of Holding It Together
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged airport, daughter, grief, impermanence, parents, poem, poetry, tears, vulnerability on July 25, 2019| 9 Comments »
It wasn’t until I had passed through security
and found my way into Concourse B
that I found myself sinking into a chair
across from a giant Vienna Beef poster
and began to weep. And once they began,
the tears wouldn’t stop. Nor did I try
to stop them. I had wondered in the ICU
where they were. Had wondered
again at my parents’ home. It was strange
to be so level—not cold, really, and not numb,
but oddly steeled. It was a relief, really,
to sob into my hands. To let grief take over.
To be a maidservant to fragility.
What a gift to be sideswiped with the truth
of our vulnerability. What a blessing
to be baptized in my own helplessness.
Over the loudspeaker, they announced
that a plane was delayed. As if any of us
really know when we’ll depart, when we’ll arrive.
When the tears dried, I stood. Walked
to my gate recalibrated. Called my parents
again because I could. Because I could.
In the window, I smiled at my watery reflection,
how it almost wasn’t there at all.
One Vulnerable
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged communication, garden, love, poem, poetry, vulnerability on October 10, 2018| Leave a Comment »
tossing my gloves
to pull carrots with naked hands—
this, how I long to speak with you
One Impasse
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged ars poetica, paradox, poem, poetry, vulnerability, writing on September 12, 2018| Leave a Comment »
Riding My Bike Up to Sanborn Park
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged bicycle, poem, poetry, rain, storm, vulnerability on September 2, 2018| 2 Comments »
Standing beneath the pinion tree
I am almost dry, while all around me
the rain almost attacks the road.
I lean my head against its shagging bark
and watch the world transform from dust
to shine. Thunder rends the darkened sky.
I knew when I began the ride
the rain was impatient.
I knew it would be no gentle shower.
How odd to trick myself into being
caught in a storm. How often I choose the gale.
Small bits of bark tear off in the wind,
fall to the cactus, the dirt. Eventually,
I am no longer content to watch
and pull my bike into the rain. Wasn’t
this what I wanted somehow, to be
unguarded, exposed, out? Within a minute
my clothes stick to my skin, and I shiver,
in part from the chill, in part because
I, too, have become a shining thing.
One Heat-Seeking Vulnerability
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged cat and mouse, poem, poetry, vulnerability on August 27, 2017| Leave a Comment »
(title is a quote from Amy Irvine McHarg)
here kitty, kitty,
she says, crooking her finger,
her mouse heart leaping against her chest
Just Playing Around, this time with the link
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged collaboration, Kyra Kopestonksky, poem, poetry, vulnerability on January 31, 2016| 3 Comments »
Hi friends,
Yesterday my good friend Kyra Kopestonsky came over to play cello … she has a grant application due so we were making videos of collaborative pieces we’ve performed together before. What a great way to spend a morning hour, reciting poems and making music. It’s a little echo-y, but here’s a playful version of “Post Script”. I love the way the cello underlines all the fragility–proof somehow that through resonance we can support each other in our most vulnerable places. Good luck, Kyra, getting that residency!
Vulnerability
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged appearance vs. reality, poem, poetry, vulnerability on September 20, 2015| 2 Comments »
She sports it
like a skimpy t-shirt,
but underneath
she wears a vest,
bullet proof.
Quick, Before I Lose My Courage
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged courage, love, poem, poetry, vulnerability on August 10, 2015| Leave a Comment »
Too long I have dared to not dare,
love. Here, here is my whole heart,
and here is the fence I built
around it and here is the match
to burn the fence and while we are at it,
the doors, too, and the walls
and the weathervane.
I have no idea what comes next.
Fabulous.
Get the Weather Right
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged opening, poem, poetry, spring, vulnerability, winter on May 17, 2015| 2 Comments »
They are still tight,
the buds on the chives.
They are wise not to open.
After a brief spring
it is winter again.
Days of white, nights of white,
thick snow and heavy sky.
Last week, when the birds
were singing, I opened.
I didn’t think of it then
as a vulnerable thing to do.
It seemed so dependable,
the sunshine of you.
I should have taken a hint
from the iris still folded
deep in their green envelopes.
Oh damn this lilac heart,
how it rushes to bloom.
The forecast is for winter all spring.
But For Now, More Beautiful than I Could Believe
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged apricot blossom, poem, poetry, transcience, vulnerability on March 28, 2015| 2 Comments »
Playing Charades with Finn and Vivian
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged charades, honesty, parenting, poem, poetry, vulnerability on December 1, 2013| 2 Comments »
Mommy, she says, walking up
to me and my son as we gesture
and guess and giggle,
Mommy, she says, I feel
like I want to hurt someone
right now. And she lays down
between my son and me, and
offers me her eyes. I think how
brave she is to identify
a feeling and stare it straight on.
It’s not hard to uncover
she feels left out of the game
and wants to join in. Oh give
me such candor, such willingness
to say what I mean and lay myself
down to rest in the middle of things
with such (one word, five syllables,
fifth syllable sounds like plea)
vulnerability.
Again and Again
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged intimacy, love, openness, poem, poetry, vulnerability on March 5, 2013| 5 Comments »
In less than a minute
the citadel
around the heart
is reduced to sand,
not by the wrecking ball,
not dynamite,
but with the softest voice
speaking the painful truth
of how sad, how broken we are.
In that unlocked moment,
even the air is naked.
It is impossible to imagine
that anything ever came between us,
or that anything ever will again.
But it does come back,
doesn’t it, that thick gray wall.
Sometimes thicker
or taller than before.
Birds come to roost there.
Ivy grows up the face.
Who knows who scrawls
all that graffiti on both sides.
And then, in an instant,
it’s gone again. Nothing but dust.
With the softest voice.
The painful gift. It’s
so messy, so beautiful,
how broken we are.
Nowhere to Go
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged openness, poems, poetry, protection, Rumi, vulnerability on April 26, 2012| 4 Comments »
with Rumi’s quotes from Undressing, trans. Coleman Barks.
I have just pulled out
my best armor and scrubbed
it with Kroger oven cleaner,
the only thing strong enough
in my cupboard to pull out
the metal’s intrinsic shine.
It glitters as I step
into the tall, silver legs,
the breast plate shimmers
in the afternoon sun,
and Rumi walks into the room
and pushes me with his hand.
I fall like a pin, like a tree, like a woman,
and clatter and clang echo
all around the room.
“Learn the alchemy true human beings know,”
Rumi says. “The moment you accept
what troubles you’ve been given,
the door will open.”
I struggle to stand and he tickles me
under the arms where the armor
exposes my skin.
“Joke with torment brought by the friend,”
he says. I stick out my tongue at him.
I clatter and clank and fail to stand.
This time he sits on the wooden floor beside me
and motions for me to be still.
The armor is uncomfortable,
and his fingers so soft as he cradles my face.
“Sorrows are the rags of old clothes
that serve to cover,” he says. “Take them off.”
“But I’m scared,” I tell him.
“I’m under attack.”
He looks at the empty room.
I want to tell him about
the woman who stabbed
at my back today, stabbed
from a hundred miles away. And
the man who would eat me alive.
But the space grows bigger all around us,
inside us, and the armor, it disappears.
It’s as if it the armor were never here.
Nothing left. Not a clang,
not a clunk, not a screw.
I am naked in the open room
with the sunlight reaching through.
And Rumi, he is gone.
No one here but quietude.
And the long, long sword.
And the butcher knife. And a note
in Persian script:
“Welcome difficulty as a familiar comrade,”
Rumi has written, “And PS: That undressing
and the naked body underneath,
that is the sweetness that comes
after grief.” Goosebumps
rise on my naked arms, my belly, my chest.
A breeze goes over my cheek.
I do not reach for the robe
nearby, do not shrink
from the weaponry. I sit.
And doors I never knew were there
swing wide, wide open.
Love is Like This
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged haiku, love, nest, poems, poetry, refuge, vulnerability on March 25, 2012| 5 Comments »
Wanting to Believe It
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged carwash, parenting, poem, poetry, vulnerability on March 24, 2012| 3 Comments »
It’s okay,
she croons to her doll,
and cradles it
in the small angle
of her arm. It’s okay,
and she holds the doll closer,
closer than that.
Then she raises
her voice above the roar
of the vortex dry
and says to me,
Mommy, she’s scared
of the noise.
And in the back seat
the two girls
snuggle against
the clatter and blast.
It’s okay, it’s okay,
it’s okay.
And it’s quiet,
so quiet,
later that night
when she calls to me
from her bed.
Mommy, it’s so dark,
she says.
And we curl
our softnesses together
and I whisper to her
the words
I most want to hear.
It’s okay,
it’s okay
I say.
three haiku on the how of it
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged busy, flower, going inward, haiku, poem, vulnerability on January 31, 2012| 3 Comments »
adios map
from now on I travel
in
flower to flower—
so much honey here I turn
it into work
why are you surprised
I’m naked? I don’t know why
you’re not
what a year it’s been tanka
Posted in Uncategorized, tagged opening, poem, relationship, snow, tanka, vulnerability on December 31, 2011| 2 Comments »
despite snow
despite cold
though it makes no sense
this heart
still unbuttons its coat