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Archive for March, 2019

 

 

Mom, she said, is it true? And it wasn’t

that I’d tried to keep the truth from her,

it just never came into conversation,

old horses are sometimes used for glue.

 

Yes, I said, wishing I could soften the message. It’s true.

She knew its truth already, but don’t we all

sometimes long to be wrong? New tears dammed

in her eyes before they fell. Is that really

 

the world I belong to? she rued, then buried

her face in the couch. Two hours later,

I thought her same thought as I read the news:

Anti-Semitism. Bribery. Child sexual abuse.

 

I wanted to hear the stories weren’t true.

Oh world, so broken, still, unglued, I choose you.

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One Tuning

 

 

you and I—

two notes in a minor chord

longing for resolution

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One More Rejection

 

 

in the cathedral of failure—

learning to bow to our weakest self

and rise emptier, more full of song

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I didn’t know I would love you more

when you were no longer strong—

you were so tender then, and soft.

And gone. They wouldn’t let me keep your hair.

I kept a strand anyway. I wear it

in a locket chained around my neck.

Sometimes I am strong enough

to open it. Sometimes I am strong enough

to weep for what was lost.

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letting the sun

shovel the drive—

the morning and I supervise

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A metal table in the sun. Beyond it, winter.

Two women sit, brought here by rambling.

 

One woman weeps, tears of mortality.

The other woman rhymes with her.

 

Everything rhymes eventually, though

neither of them know it yet. The grass.

 

The snow. The dirt. The way the two women lean

into shadows. It’s not that time makes demands,

 

it’s just that the women still see themselves

as separate. They grasp at the present,

 

thinking this makes them a part of it.

Meanwhile, the birds. Meanwhile,

 

the trees. Meanwhile, the cells, changing.

Meanwhile the sun slides down the sky.

 

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emerging form

EMERGING FORM is a weekly podcast about the creative process. Join me and my co-host, New York Times best selling science writer Christie Aschwanden, as we discuss creativity, usually over a glass of wine. Themes for season one include quitting, collaboration and existential despair. Guests for season one include poets and writers as well as a sketch artist, a songwriter, a winemaker and a circus performer. Each episode lasts under 30 minutes. Find out more about the podcast on our website, or listen and subscribe via iTunes or our RSS feed. 

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One Infinite Night Stand

 

 

the night unzips

its long black dress—

a million stars slip out

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We are the only poets, and everyone else is prose.

—Emily Dickinson, in a letter to Susan Gilbert

 

 

It is perhaps an inner drum,

the meter of the soul

that sometimes finds a resonance

inside another’s halls—

 

an inner song, an inner scheme

that rhymes with someone else’s,

a dream that scans like heartbeats

inside the other’s pulse.

 

Yes in this world of counterfeit,

such thrill to find a poem

that redefines Circumference—

and curious, leads us home.

 

 

 

 

for more on the love letters and life-changing love of Emily Dickinson, read the fabulous Brain Pickings by Maria Popova,

https://mailchi.mp/brainpickings/emily-dickinson-love-letters?e=ea2d3e439a

 

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From a brown envelope sent by Amazon,

I pull out Bread and Miracles, a book

of poems I’ve admired for years.

I wrote the author long ago

to tell her I love her poems,

the way she makes devotion

of earthworms and camas lilies.

But there is no way to explain why

her words arrive here in my own kitchen

except through some miracle, which is,

I suppose, another name for kindness.

 

Whoever you are, sweet sender

of poems, thank you. Thank you

for knowing exactly what book

I might like to receive, though

I’ve never told anyone. Thank you

for knowing there would be a day

when a dear man died and I would need

to remember that goodness thrives,

that generosity flourishes, that

there are people out there who,

out of pure benevolence,

extend themselves to others.

 

There is a fairy tale in which

bread crumbs are insufficient to save

a brother and sister. But they are saving

this woman, and though I don’t know

where the trail began, I follow it forward

saying thank you, thank you, thank you.

 

 

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I fell in love, today, with the black

and blue marker stains on the table

made by the two-year-old boy—

he colored in the circles he’d drawn

with so much enthusiasm that the ink

seeped through the paper

and into the lemon cream paint on the table

where no amount of scrubbing could remove it.

 

It wasn’t so much the stain though, no,

and it wasn’t the color. What I fell in love with

was the way his mother didn’t see

that the table was ruined. She saw

that he did such a fine, precise job,

that he took so much pleasure in the coloring.

And when I apologized for bringing markers

that didn’t easily wash, she looked at me

with so much surrender and said,

“On a day like today,

who could worry about a table?”

 

It was yesterday they found the dog

waiting beside the car.

It was this morning the skier’s body was found

in a massive snow slide.

It was all day, through the stupor of loss,

I fell in love with the shape of empty branches,

the scent of black tea, the sound

of my son’s voice, fell in love

with the grace in the way my friend shrugged

when she saw the table, the way she hugged

her son. She offered me chocolate from London.

We ate the squares slowly. All day the gray edge

of grief made every little thing

more precious, more sweet.

 

 

 

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for Heartbeat

 

 

singing

the same song,

again,

but this time

the melody

finds in me

a closed,

forgotten place

and sings light

into its tightness

until where

there were walls,

now wings

 

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By then, the blizzard was strong enough

that we couldn’t see past the chair in front of us—

all was white oblivion. And though I knew

the world, though obscured, was still there,

part of me trusted the illusion.

 

It reminded me of when we were kids

and at slumber parties we’d play the game

“stiff as a board, light as a feather,” in which

one girl would lie in the center of a circle,

and another would tell the spooky story

 

of how the supine girl had died, and how, on her death,

her body was said to be “stiff as a board, light

as a feather,” and the rest of us would slip two fingers

beneath her and carry her about the room.

I knew, of course, that my 100-pound friends

 

were not truly feather light, but we played the game

over and over and swore it was true. There is some thrill

in sharing a myth that defies common sense.

And so today, when I say to my daughter

that we are entering a hidden realm through a veil

 

and she disagrees, I am shocked how disappointed

I am when she doesn’t share the game. In that instant,

the snow is just snow, the day just a day.

There is a joy here, too, in calling things as they are.

A woman. A girl. A storm. A chairlift traveling through.

 

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One Not Arriving

 

dripping icicle—

made by the same warmth

that will destroy it

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