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Archive for May, 2018

 

 

 

It’s not like the toaster

keeps secrets. Everyone

knows that all it does

is add heat for a short

duration. But that’s

all it takes to turn

something stale

into something

somehow sweeter

and warmer and

oddly much

more itself.

Heat. For a bit. That’s all.

And even knowing

this, I let the stale

parts of me stay

stale. I know from experience

that that the heat

will come whether

I choose it or not.

Though sometimes it

will burn down the house

just to toast one slice.

Better to take things

into my own hands.

Sometimes, I take

my own advice.

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Dear Boredom,

 

 

 

I miss you. I miss your long

minutes, your interminable hours,

your days that promised never to end.

What became of your

afternoons full of nothing?

Your yawning mornings?

Our weekends on the couch?

I remember how you once

wrapped your arms around me

and I thought you meant forever.

I believed in your quiet loyalty,

how still you were, not even

the curtains moved.

Now, even the moon is in a rush,

sprinting across the stars.

Now every single thing

has some song to sing.

The day hurls around

its confident light

and the minutes strut

around in berets and shout

into their megaphones.

Look, I’ve saved a place

for you at my table.

Please come. I don’t

remember what you look like,

but if you just hold me,

I’ll know it’s you come home,

I’ll know.

 

 

 

 

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So beautiful,

this tiny red and white spider

I forget to shudder

and for a moment,

the war between want

and don’t want

is silenced.

It continues its journey

along the car door.

I walk away, slightly

more spider

than I was before.

 

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My daughter walks up the drive to meet me.

Mom, she says, I have a pet.

She is dragging an old pump

attached to a long black electrical cord.

Meet Pumpy, she says.

Hello Pumpy, I say. She pulls

the red and black cylinder into her arms.

I am trying to prove to you

that I am ready to be a dog owner, Mom.

I am going to take Pumpy for walks

every night and every morning

and give him a bath in the river. Come.

She puts the pump back on the ground

and yanks it up the drive, calling,

Come boy. Good Pumpy.

When we get to the top of the drive,

she picks up Pumpy to cross the street.

You know, she says, the street

is a dangerous place.

And then we walk up the dirt hillside.

There, she finds an old deer bone

and helps Pumpy to bury it.

Mom, she says, what do you think?

I think my heart is breaking

with the purity of her desire.

I think the evening light

makes everything more beautiful.

I think it is hard to say no

to something our loves really want.

No, I say. We can’t get a dog.

But you will be a great dog owner someday.

She knew this would be the answer,

and says, Come, Pumpy,

there’s more to explore.

And though it’s getting dark,

we walk deeper into the woods.

 

 

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Inside

the

wall

between

us

there’s

a

very

thin

room—

let’s

take

two

chairs

and

sit

in

there—

not

on

my

side

nor

yours,

but

wholly

in

the

place

that

divides

us.

I

wonder

how

much

more

clearly

we

will

hear

each

other

without

that

wall

between

us

?

 

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In the movie,

that’s not being made,

the one I star in,

my character, who looks

exactly like me,

is mowing the lawn,

exactly like me,

only when I go

to put the lawnmower

away by the barn,

she just keeps walking,

pushing that red Toro

down the side of the highway,

oblivious to the drivers

who stare and honk.

And there’s no orchestra

swelling, just a single

bassoon with a dark,

warm reedy timbre.

There she goes,

in her flip flops

and sun hat,

obviously not ready

for what’s about to happen

and not caring a whit,

leaving in her wake

a trail of freshly cut weeds,

and the scent of spring grass,

her figure getting

smaller and smaller

on the horizon.

 

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Expansion

 

 

 

When I started to fume,

God grabbed me in his arms

impossibly strong and tender

and said, dear one,

don’t build our house too small

and I dropped my hammer

and nails and noticed

how fine the breeze

without walls.

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Clue

 

 

 

We used to fight about who got to be Miss Scarlet.

She was the most beautiful character on the box,

her slender waist, her long black hair, her scarlet lips.

 

Her slender waist. It was as if we thought that by moving

a red plastic piece around the board, we, too,

would be more beautiful. With a roll of the dice,

 

she would glide across the square tiles from the library

to the billiard room, would take the underground tunnel

between the conservatory and the lounge.

 

As I filled in the squares on my brown detective pad,

I imagined long red acrylics on my stubby broken nails.

Oh she was everything we were not. She was mysterious,

 

she hung out in a mansion with a ballroom and study.

She was elegant, thin and rich. And when things went wrong,

and they always did, she and her friends, Miss Peacock, Mrs. White,

 

they always figured it out by the end of the game

just who had been the killer, and what weapon they used—

the silver candlestick, the knife.

 

Did we really believe that beauty would help us

to figure things out? We decided at some point

to try that route. The game gathered dust

 

as we turned to stealing our mother’s make up

and styling each other’s hair, then watching

our weight, then not eating at all.

 

We were our own killers then. Our own weapons, too.

We didn’t need a revolver or a rope. It was Miss Scarlet

in the kitchen, but it took years for us to figure it out.

 

 

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They call it the Jesus lizard

because it walks on water,

yes, walks—or rather runs—

upright on two feet.

It was Matthew who wrote

how Jesus Christ walked

on the Sea of Galilee.

Christ had to tell his disciples not

to be afraid. But the Jesus Lizard

runs on water because he is afraid—

up to five feet per second.

It’s either run on water

or burrow into the sand—

and the lizard has a ring

of muscles around both nostrils

to prevent sand from getting in.

Is that miracle? or just practical?

But to run! To run on water!

After fifteen feet,

the lizard sinks to all fours

and swims. But imagine!

To be part of the miracle,

if only for a moment,

to do what seems as if

it cannot be done.

The scientists say it’s no miracle at all.

The lizards have flaps between their toes

that create a larger surface area

and also small pockets of air—

this gives the lizard buoyancy.

What part of me would rather believe

in miracles than science? Or, is it possible

we’ve made the definition

of miracle too small? Perhaps

flaps between toes is an miracle of evolution.

Perhaps, this too, is a miracle:

two feet, ten toes that walk

on land, one foot moving forward at a time.

 

check out this crazy critter here: https://www.google.com/search?q=jesus+lizard+animal+wikipedia&oq=j&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j35i39j69i61l3j69i59.2991j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

 

 

 

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I like to write poems on rocks. River rocks. Smooth ones. Black Sharpie works best.

 

Luckily, rocks are easy to find. By a river, of course, or, if you’re in the city, in parking lots where landscapers have used rounded gray rocks instead of planting gardens.

 

Sometimes, just one word is enough to make a poem. “Resilience,” for instance. Or “unfurling.” Or “yes.” But usually, I write three lines—they fit well on a rock the size of my palm.

 

They don’t have to be good poems, I tell myself, but they do have to be true. Sometimes I make several dozen at once, then gather them in a canvas bag. It gets heavy when I use big rocks, but there’s something marvelous about the weight of a poem. Then I leave them around town. On fenceposts. Sidewalks. Windowsills. On public benches and in stairwells, in shopping carts and on restroom sinks. I feel like the Easter Bunny.

 

I never put my name on them. They were never mine. And always, within a day, someone has taken them. I like to think they keep the poems. I like to think they give them away. I like to think the poems travel places I’ll never see. The thrill of them disappearing is always new. I like to think it matters, what we do.

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