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Archive for September, 2018

 

 

 

It is not so bad to be lost.

Being lost only rankles when you’re sure

you are heading somewhere.

But once you’ve been lost long enough,

you stop believing in arrivals.

When you are lost, you can walk

in any direction, toward that mountain,

for instance, without worrying

you should be walking toward work.

You can smell the frying of peppers and onions

in oil and be led by your nose.

When you’re lost and don’t feel any need

to find a way, every path leads you

exactly where you need to go.

 

You think it’s so important to have direction,

to follow the steps to a goal.

I can tell you feel a bit sorry for me,

poor lost soul, And then with a look

at your watch, off you go to your next place

to be. You gaze lands down the road,

your foot urging the gas. But if you went slower,

what would you see? And if you didn’t know

how the path goes, where else, where else

might you go? Who else might you be?

And I, I will wander, perhaps, among

the chamisa and sage. Who knows

what might happen next?

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I don’t remember inviting her along today,

that Prickly Rose, but everywhere I go,

she goes. I watch her pout around the kitchen

as she makes breakfast, her prickers falling

into the cereal, spines in the eggs. And she bristles

her way into the bedroom closet to

put on her clothes, daring to wear the same

outfit as I. She fusses her way to the car,

leaves a trail of bleary discontent,

then drives off in a huff, harrumphing

at beauty, at bliss. All morning, I watch her

from a distance, as far away as I can.

I tell her, “You know, you can choose

at any time to lose those thorns.”

She glares at me, like, “whatever,”

and goes back to her muttering.

“I see,” I say, giving her space.

She smells as if she burnt her eggs.

So I tease her, and make up new lyrics to.

“Miss Prickle regrets

she’s unable to smile today, Madam.”

and “The gripes are high but I’m holding on.”

I marvel at her insistence on holding

on to aggravation, frustration, annoyance,

stress. I mean, look at her now,

snarling there in the seat I’m in,

intent on her own misery. Oh Prickly Rose.

I want to hold her, but she will not

be held. So I watch her, let myself

get curious. Smile as she chooses to frown.

She’ll come around eventually, I tell myself.

Until then, I wonder at how she manages

to hold that scowl on her forehead

so furrowed, so deep, how she glowers

so impressively long.

 

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In April, the Harvard

Department of Physics

issued a study suggesting

the universe will end the way

it began, with a bang. in fact,

they say, there’s likely a bubble

of true vacuum “barreling

toward us at the speed of light.”

The moment we see the bubble

will barely precede the moment

it destroys us.

 

And still, despite their findings,

I rise every morning in the dark

and make my children lunches.

Evenly spreading the butter

onto my daughter’s bread.

Slicing the cheese thin as hope,

just the way my son likes it.

As if making their lunches

really matters in these moments

before our demise.

Yes, I select the firmest apples.

Toast the walnuts

with maple syrup and salt

so they sing in the mouth,

both savory and sweet.

As if they will eat the food

and taste love. As if

they’re important, these

things that we do.

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One Less Hifalutin’

 

 

 

adding dandelions

to the bouquet of red roses—

the whole room oddly brighter

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after Saint Francis and the Sow by Galway Kinnell

 

 

And when my daughter

runs to greet me, charges

me with joy, I am like

the great thick sow Saint Francis blessed

with his touch. For though

I look in the mirror

and see only what I wish to change,

my daughter sees differently

and bulldozes me with love,

a ferocious blessing,

reteaching me in a vigorous rush

that there is something

beautiful here, though

she wouldn’t name it as such—

and a small remembering

takes root in me and

vines throughout my thoughts,

and I flower there in blue surprise,

my own soil, again, enough.

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One Long Walk

 

 

 

trying to see me

the way that cloud sees me—

disappearing as it does

 

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In Mid-September

 

 

Summer travels beyond itself and

warms the stones and gives

the flowers more of what they love.

 

it is like a lover who, though he

has told you he is leaving, returns

and kisses you until you are panting,

 

makes you believe he will always

hold you. But then, even as your lips part

and you lean in, he is gone again,

 

taking his warmth with him,

leaving your skin somehow more fragile

in the thin autumn air.

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Trickster Ridge

 

 

At the edge of the cliff

the wind tousles the snakeweed

into a riot of waving fronds.

 

They dance and still, and dance

and still, resettling into their natural state

before being danced again.

 

All morning I have been thinking

about resilience, or more rightly,

resilience has visited me,

 

not as a thought, more as

a mandate. And here, the snakeweed,

golden flowers lit by sun,

 

leads me to the edge of the cliff

where the wind whips everything

that dares show up,

 

and the snakeweed—

stirred, disturbed and rearranged—

has never been more itself.

 

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staring at numbers

hoping to find, hidden in percentages,

a trap door

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pulling on my mask

as my nom de plume

unbuttons her blouse again

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